Living with Alzheimer’s: One Family’s Story About Coping With This Debilitating Condition

Dementia is a term which describes a range of conditions which cause damage to our brain. This damage affects not just memory but thinking, language and our ability to perform everyday tasks. There are more than 48,000 people living with dementia in Ireland- 4000 under the age of 65. This figure is set to treble in a generation. More than 50,000 family carers of people with dementia also live in our communities and need support. The following is a touching story of what life is like for one Irish mother and her son who are living with dementia and the transformative impact The Alzheimer Society of Ireland’s, Alzheimer Cafe has had on their lives: "My name is Cathleen. I have Dementia. I have been told this – but sometimes I forget." This was the note Cathleen O’Farrell found on her kitchen table one morning. The poignant words left for her by her only son, Eamon. Cathleen is living with Alzheimer’s and for the last few years Eamon has been her full time carer – lovingly helping and guiding Cathleen along every step of her daunting journey. Eamon vividly recalls the first time he realised there was something seriously wrong with his mum who had once been a hugely independent, self sufficient person. "I got a call from Mam's doctor to tell me she had been in twice that week about the same ailment, but she clearly had no memory of her first visit. This raised major alarm bells." Like the thousands of families who receive a diagnosis of dementia each year, Eamon and Cathleen soon found that Cathleen’s condition would change their lives forever. “From the moment you get the diagnosis, in some ways, you are dealing with a grieving process. You are losing them little by little. And the changes you see in them sadden you. I’m never too far away from tears to be honest.” Eamon had reached a point of “absolute desperation” just before he first visited one of the many cafés The Alzheimer Society of Ireland runs throughout the country. The visit changed everything. The Alzheimer Society of Ireland cafés are wonderful safe havens for people living with Dementia and their families. Many people come for the expert advice and care the health care professionals provide. But others simply come for the priceless company and the support that family members so willingly give each other. “The Alzheimer Café is a great place for people to come for a bit of empathy. To talk to people who may be dealing with the same situation as you. It takes away the isolation which is so important. The Alzheimer Society of Ireland go above and beyond to make sure that no person goes through dementia alone,” said Eamon. This year Eamon and Cathleen will be celebrating Alzheimer’s Tea Day in Cathleen’s favourite Alzheimer Café. “Cathleen drinks tea by the bucket load. And she loves going to the Alzheimer Café because she always gets tea in nice china cups and in a proper tea pot.” Cathleen’s quality of life simply wouldn’t be the same without the support of The Alzheimer Society or the loving care of her extraordinary son Eamon, but as Cathleen becomes more and more dependent on his care; Eamon’s personal life and career have been forced to take a back seat. It’s the story of so many wonderful carers all over Ireland, but he is both generous and philosophical about facing that challenge: “What I miss most is my life. I don’t know where it is in the future. But I try not to look too far down the road. I just focus on today and trying to make sure Mam is loved and cared for and that she has her dignity at all times. That’s all that matters.” To find you local Alzheimer Café, visit this page and choose your county, or contact the Alzheimer Society of Ireland's free and confidential helpline at 1800 341 341 or [email protected] The Alzheimer Society of Ireland is running its annual Alzheimer's Tea Day on Thursday 7 May. If you'd like to host a Tea Day at home, in your work place or at school, simply register for your Alzheimer's Tea Day pack here. For more information click here.