What to do when your friends earn more than you

As much as we love hanging out with our nearest and dearest, the impact a busy social calendar has on our bank account is not pretty.

We often find ourselves with dwindling funds at the end of every month, and it's something some friends don't understand.

Everyone has different wages, but some of our friends will earn a lot more than us.

Whether it’s holidays, hens, or housewarmings, the social events of the summer often shine a light on just how different the stages of life can be within a friendship group.

Often, at the root of each differing stage is a very different income that is apparent when a group begins to organise summer vacations, night outs, or even simple catch-ups.

Money expert Paul Merriman at askpaul has confirmed how to navigate the friendship wage gap without causing conflict.

He stressed that speaking to your friends about this issue is one of the best steps you can take.

No matter how close you are as friends, people only know what you tell them. It’s easy to feel frustrated if friends keep suggesting plans that are out of your budget; however, if you stay silent, they do not know that you are experiencing anxiety around finances.

"Opening a conversation about money doesn’t have to be awkward, nor does it have to be serious or contain lots of detail," says Paul.

"Be sure to focus on the positive, stating that you must cut back on costly activities; however, you would love to partake in new budget-friendly options.”

The importance of setting boundaries

It’s a normal Monday, and then before you know it, you have a WhatsApp notification informing you that you are on the way to a costly hen do in Ibiza.

Do not wait until the deposit for an event is due to voice money concerns. Set boundaries as early as possible and be transparent with what you feel comfortable spending.

Boundaries can be voiced casually outside of the WhatsApp group or in, and can be friendly, but make sure they’re assertive.

Don’t Split the Bill

There are no set rules when it comes to splitting the bill. Don’t be afraid to suggest paying for what you ordered if it’s cheaper than those around you. This suggestion can be made in advance. Not only can this significantly reduce the cost of the event, but eases the anxiety before the evening starts.

It's also important to remember that no is a full sentence. When declining an invitation or talking about finances, it can be easy to talk a million miles a minute, voice every excuse that you can think of, and then feel guilty. Remember, ‘no’ is a full sentence, and you don’t have to justify your finances or why you can’t attend specific events.

Read more: ‘The reality of being the poorer friend in your group’