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Life

01st Dec 2023

‘Am I wrong for not wanting my cousin as a bridesmaid at my wedding?’

Anna Martin

wedding

Picking your bridesmaid group is difficult

It can feel like trying to pick your favourite child when it comes to making that all-important decision about who will be standing at the altar with you.

Then there are the people that you know you don’t want keeping you company up there but not everyone agrees with you.

For one woman she knew one person she didn’t want in her bridal party but her family doesn’t seem too pleased.

“My cousin let’s call her Sarah, has been pestering me to be a bridesmaid ever since I got engaged. However, I’ve decided not to include her in my bridal party, and now it’s causing quite an uproar in the family,” the Redditor explained.

Stepsister wedding
Credit: Getty

“Here’s some background: When I was 19, I became a single mom unexpectedly. It was a challenging time, and I had to navigate parenthood while juggling college and work.

“Sarah wasn’t supportive at all and made hurtful comments about my situation, shaming me for being a young single mom. Her words were harsh and deeply affected me during a vulnerable period of my life.

“And it really hurt me as I considered her as an older sister. I had 3 amazing friends around me all the time helping with expenses, babysitting, taking me out etc. and one of those friends is now my fiance.”

These days, the bride-to-be is much happier but when she told Sarah that she won’t be part of her big day, her cousin flipped and demands answers.

“I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the real reason: her hurtful comments from the past. Instead, I just mentioned that I had already made commitments to other friends and family members.

'Am I wrong for standing up to my sister-in-law at my wedding?'
Credit: Getty

“Sarah hasn’t taken this well and has been telling everyone in the family that I’m excluding her for no reason, painting me as the bad guy.”

The bride revealed that her family is now pressuring her to include Sarah, but she has a feeling her cousin just wants to go on her bridesmaid holiday.

So the Redditor wanted to know if she should stand her ground or give in the her family just to keep the peace.

Thankfully, a vast majority of the commentators were on her side and told her to stand firm.

“Your wedding, your choice. It’s that simple. Your family can support and be glad for your happiness, including your cousin, or not. And I’d tell them exactly that way,” one penned.

“But you might consider saying the backstory. That might reduce the outrage. And can hardly make your relationship with your cousin worse, so why not?”

wedding bridesmaid
Credit: Getty

Another added: “Doesn’t matter the past reasons, or why you chose how you did. It’s your decision and your aunt can kindly f*ck off about something that’s none of her business.”

“You get to choose who your bridesmaids are, and even if Sarah was still one of your favourite people you are still not obligated to choose her as a bridesmaid,” added a third.

“The fact that she bullied you means she definitely doesn’t deserve to be one.”

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