We like to think that we know our other half inside and out but too often our partners can be hiding certain things from us.
There are a host of reasons why men don’t tell us certain events or issues from their past – maybe they’re embarrassed, afraid of our reaction or think it doesn’t matter anymore. While a little mystery is always healthy in a relationship, communication and honesty are key, especially if you want to build something with foundations that are strong enough to stand the test of time.
So what should you do when your partner throws you a major curveball in the bedroom department? Here are some of the most common sex-related bombshells a man can drop, coupled with some advice on how you can deal with them.
It’s important to know how to deal if your man throws you a sexual curveball
Bombshell: He’s slept with more people than you.
There’s a reason why most people tend to keep their sexual number to themselves – it’s to avoid making their partner feel insecure or inadequate. When you find out that your man has sown his wild oats across the nation, it can make you wonder if you mean anything to him or if you’re just another notch on his bedpost.
How to deal:
Ladies, we’re sorry, but there’s no quick fix to this problem. If his sexual number has you feeling a bit insecure or downright paranoid then you need to talk to him. Ask him why he chose to sleep with so many women, tell him that you’re feeling a bit thrown by his confession – get him to explain what makes you different. After you’ve had that discussion agree with your partner that you won’t talk numbers again – leave those other women firmly in the past, where they belong.
Bombshell: He won’t return the favour.
When you’re in bed you pull out all the stops to make sure he’s enjoying himself and having a good time, but when it comes time to return the favour he has about as much enthusiasm as a dead fish.
How to deal:
Switch things up. Instead of you doing all the work, suggest that he takes control for one night only. Allow him to be in charge and see if he pays more attention to you. If this doesn’t work, simply call him out on his behaviour.
Approach him during a time when you’re both free to sit down and have a chat. Tell him how you feel. Explain that you need a man who is willing to give as much as he gets. Be frank, be honest and stress the importance that sex has for you. If he’s a keeper he’ll understand where you’re coming from and go out of his way to make sure you know that between the sheets. If he remains selfish, then it’s time to pack your bags. Life’s too short for a man who won’t give you the attention you deserve.
Bombshell: He has no experience.
You’ve been seeing a wonderful man for the past few weeks. He’s nice, he’s funny, he’s gorgeous and you’re ready to take things to the next step. There’s just one problem – he has no experience. What do you do?
How to deal: First and foremost you need to accept that there are some men out there who believe that they should wait until they’ve found the right person before they have sex. Men remain virgins for various reasons and if you stumble across a man with no experience then it’s important not to make a big deal about it.
Remember your own first time – was it a good experience? Is there anything you wish would have happened differently?
Our first time is something that stays with us for the rest of our lives and it’s important to remember that. Your man has shown a great level of trust in you by admitting something which is usually considered to be embarrassing (especially for a fella), so honour that trust. At the end of the day, it’s not a big deal and you should be happy that he wants his first time to be with you.
