Ah, 2019.
It’s almost over – and thank god for that.
It’s been a year of turmoil, anxiety, and general not-great-ness, but listen, we’re almost at the end now and a massive congrats to us all for making it here.
Many things have happened over the course of this year. Not all of them good, not all of them bad. But all of them entirely ridiculous.
So, without further ado, here’s a comprehensive list (10) of all of the stupid, obscene, genuinely mad things that happened this year, ranked for your pleasure.
10. Netflix releasing The I-Land
What in God’s name was that?
Sometime towards the end of summer and beginning of the non-existent Autumn we had, a little series called The I-Land appeared on our tablets and laptops.
A few deluded people described it as Netflix’s version of Lost, which it was not. What it was was a poorly executed, atrociously acted, sorry excuse for a TV show about the criminal justice system, technology, and islands, or something.
It was so bad.
9. Boris Johnson becoming UK Prime Minister
Because yes, the worst did happen.
In September of this year, Boris Johnson because Britain’s actual PM, in a move that was equal parts harrowing but also not that surprising considering the way things are going in the UK these days.
Upon his announcement, Boris made some outlandish claims about leaving the EU by the end of October (didn’t happen), and called those who didn’t like him “dude.”
It was a whole thing.
Let’s not even mention the Love Actually skit ahead of the general election. Too soon.
8. Leo Varadkar saying climate change isn’t all bad
We’ll be less cold in the winter though, wha?
Climate change is happening, lads. It is real. It, as well as global warming, rising sea levels, and all of those other awful things that us humans have directly caused are indeed occurring.
And they are all unequivocally bad.
Except, according to Leo Varadkar they might not actually be, because he – as the leader of this here country – made some incredibly questionable comments about it not being all that bad, actually, because at least it’ll be a bit warmer in the winter.
Class.
7. The Ashley O episode of Black Mirror
No. Just no.
Coming from an avid and really quite biased Black Mirror fan, this here inclusion on the list of the most ridiculous things to happen in 2019 hurts – alas, it must happen.
This was a bad hour of television. Like, really bad. Like, I’m generally a big fan of Miley Cyrus and the impending doom associated with our chronic reliance on technology to achieve a sense of belonging, but this simply did not work.
Bandersnatch could never.
6. 30-50 feral hogs running through that man’s yard
Never forget, etc.
Amidst a quite serious conversation about gun control in the US, came one man’s entirely valid and utterly hilarious concern:
“How do I kill the 30-50 feral hogs that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play?”
It was a query that the internet ran with – much like the feral hogs that had come before it – and created meme after meme until the were simply no more jokes to be made.
Your man never got his answer either. We should do better. We have to.
5. Greg O’Shea entering the Love Island villa on Day 44 and winning the entire series
Listen lads, here at Her.ie we love Greg O’Shea as much as the next person – but him being in that villa for a solid 14 days and winning the entire show was obscene.
It just was.
Never in the history of the painfully entertaining and really quite controversial dating show has somebody achieved such a feat. Never.
There is nothing we can do but sit back, relax, and gaze ahead to the future, in awe.
4. Coffee cup gate
What, one can’t compile an end of year roundup and not mentioned Game of Thrones, right?
The wildly popular fantasy series came to its end this year, and although fans were unable to decide whether the HBO show’s final season was entirely poor or kind of OK, one thing people were able to agree on was that the presence of a coffee cup on set was Not Ideal.
The cup – originally thought to be of Starbucks origin and later revealed to be from a local Belfast coffee shop – distracted viewers from the blatant fact that season eight had been completely rushed and virtually nobody was happy with the outcome.
Still though, bit of drama.
3. Donald Trump calling Prince Charles the ‘Prince of Whales’
He is known for a click, whistle, and pulsed call, after all.
Back in June, Donald Trump did what Donald Trump is best at and called someone a thing that they are not.
In this case, it was Prince Charles, and he was called the Prince Of Whales – despite not being the Prince of Whales at all, because he is not a man of the sea.
Trump made his 5467th gaffe of the year on Twitter, where the evidence was swiftly deleted, and naturally screenshotted by thousands.
2. Derry Girls not winning a BAFTA
Utterly unacceptable.
Earlier this year, the eagerly anticipated second season of Derry Girls arrived on Channel 4.
Just like the season before, it was funny, heartwarming, ingeniously written, and easily the best show on TV.
However, all of that seemingly wasn’t enough to ensure that it won a BAFTA, therefore making it the second most ridiculous thing that happened this year.
For shame.
1. Prince Andrew deciding, in good faith, to do that interview
Honestly, mate.
Pizza Express? Not sweating? A condition that causes it to be so? Woking?
Last month’s Newsnight interview with the prince conducted by Emily Maitlis proved to be just as car crash and painful as everybody expected it to be.
It was woeful, made only (somehow) worse by the apparent prior approval of The Queen, a woman who knows only too well the disastrous outcomes that such television appearances can have for the royal family.
But hey, at least millions of people around the world got to see it go down within the confines of the palace instead of, I don’t know, a police station.
A truly chaotic end to a tumultuous year.
