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Published 14:15 1 Feb 2016 GMT
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Where do you sit? It's only yourself, but what if there isn't a two-seater available? Then you're going to have to sit at a four person table and deflect the filthy looks from all around because you've been so ignorant as to deny a genuine four-person group the comfort of an appropriate table. You're a monster.
Food Stress
How are you supposed to make a decision on what to order without consulting someone else? It's impossible. Plus, you don't have the added safety of hoping your friend will order something you also want, so you can have a taste. What about sharing a side order of chips? THIS IS TOO MUCH.
Paranoia
Everyone is looking at you and mentally constructing a sad backstory as to why you've had the misfortune of dining alone. Did you get stood up? Have you not got any friends? Are you a weirdo? It's hard to know where to look when you're eating on your own. You can bury your head in your phone or a book, but you can still feel tragic eyes glancing your way.
Optimism
Maybe someone will sit down beside you and become your new best friend. Maybe Bradley Cooper will stumble into the same restaurant as you at the exact same time, you'll be forced to share a table and fall deeply and intensely in love over some corned beef. Stranger things have happened, says you.
Divilment
Is it worth messing with the waiter/waitress and pretending you're eating with an invisible friend? This will cross your mind at some point. As they take your order, should you nod towards the empty seat opposite and say "I'll go first then"? This will also cross your mind and you're lying to yourself if it doesn't.
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