The awkward moment your boyfriend comes walking towards you in the cinema with a “Take me drunk, I am home” t-shirt or your dad makes his way out for the day in a white socks and sandal combination.
These are some of the male species’ biggest fashion faux-pas, but how will they learn? First step, we’ll compile a list of their worst fashion disasters and we can all have a good giggle about it…
1. It’s All About The V-Neck
No, it isn’t though. The British trend has seeped over to our Irish shores via the Geordie Shore television show and we have spotted a few extreme v-neck wearers out on the town. A shaved chest framed by a low v-neck really isn’t doing it for us. It is too feminine and we’re sure the chest regrowth can’t be too attractive either.
2. The More Studs, the Manlier I Look
Jeans with studs. The three words together make us feel nauseous. The only type of stud that should be found on a pair of jeans are the studs every manufacturer has to use to sew the bits together. Studs on pockets, seams and the legs of jeans are all a big, fat ‘no’.
3. It’s A Closed-Toe Affair
We don’t know who decided socks should ever be paired with sandals, but whoever did was a very wrong man. Sandals by themselves are dodgy enough so we don’t think a pair of white sports socks make the style any more acceptable. Also to note, sock marks halfway up the legs are almost, just almost, as bad as the socks themselves.
4. “Six-Pack Coming Soon”
We’ll admit to it, we did all laugh the first time we saw each slogan. But that was two hundred t-shirts ago and there aren’t that many slogans to go around. If you’re lucky enough to find an original somewhere, that’s great, but the cheeky slogans we have seen a million times before aren’t so funny anymore. And “Put Your Funny Slogan Here” doesn’t count…
5. Keep It Tight
A loosened tie towards the end of a night is acceptable. We like a man who isn’t so uptight he keeps his tie knotted perfect into the early hours of the morning, but the “I didn’t spend half an hour arranging it to look this loose and casual, but I did” look isn’t doing much for us. We like a classy guy. Fix your tie up well and who knows if it will need to be loosened later…
6. When to Wear the Shoes
A pair of sports shoes look great on any man in full sports attire, nothing spells sexier more than a guy who works out and puts a bit of effort into his body. But the trend of having a pair of white runners on under jeans just isn’t a turn-on. The smell that must eminate from the pair of shoes after both a soccer session and a night out in the town must be cruel as well. Time and a place for a pair of running shoes guys, and if the latter problem can’t be fixed with a squirt of Febreeze, throw them out.
7. Baggy and Wide
Baggy, wide jeans…it just gets worse. You know it’s bad when the jeans are so baggy each step looks like effort moving the layers of denim back and forth. We’re putting visible boxers into this category too. It’s nice to get a sneaky peek but the trend of having your underwear halfway up your back and your waistband below your arse just isn’t on, and how do they stay up anyway?
8. Y-fronts. Enough said.
White y-fronts just conjure up images of Homer Simpson covering nothing but his modesty. It takes a special kind of guy to carry this type of male underwear off and we’re thinking along the lines of Garrett Neff (do check him out) or our favourite, David Beckham.
9. Unwashed clothes
You mightn’t be living with Mammy anymore but there is no excuse for dirty or un-ironed clothes. You may have showered that morning, and again in the evening, but a dirty t-shirt automatically makes you look like you’ve slept rough for a week.
10. Who Wears Short Shorts?
We know, and admire, guys’ obsession with the leather ball and hurley but what happens on the pitch should stay on the pitch, and that includes the short shorts. Don’t get us wrong, we love to head to the matches and watch the legs, eh-hem, the guys at play, but once you’re off the pitch, upper thighs should never be shown in public. End of.
