Woman asks whether she can step down as bridesmaid – because the best man is her cheating ex

Would you back out of your best friend's big day at the last minute if your ex was also in the wedding party?

That's the question one woman put to the internet after ending up stuck in a wedding with her ex-fiancé who cheated on her. Posting to Reddit, the anonymous woman explained that she'd agreed to be her best friend's bridesmaid before his affairs were exposed. She had been with her fiancé for six years and even refused a job to move with him.

"Loved him with every fiber of my being, wedding planned for August," she wrote. "Monday a call girl from a website called massage republic texts him in the middle of the night saying she’s reaching out to old clients because she’s back in the game. "In a moment of brains I pretend to be him instead of the jealous girlfriend and call girl gives me all the details. I’m such a fool this had been happening under my nose for years."

The woman confronted her fiancé who begged her not to leave him, saying he was a sex addict and promising to change. "Cue uncontrollable crying, self doubt, a battery of STD tests, awkward encounters with him, fight over the ring, his mom (who I loved) calling me non stop and begging me to reconsider and on and on," she continued.

"I understand the whole wedding doesn’t need to fall apart because I’m upset."

She ended things - but his best friend was marrying her best friend this month and they were both due to be in the wedding. The groom didn't want to rock the boat by kicking him out, the woman wrote, while the bride "says she has way too much in her plate and is begging me to just go through with it and she’ll 'make it up to me'." The woman said she'd rather stay home with guys off Tinder (fair) but feels torn.

"I understand the whole wedding doesn’t need to fall apart because I’m upset. "So I just want to not go and spend the day downing the left over percocets from my wisdom teeth operation, f***ing as many tinder dudes who can stand to be around me after not showering and burning all his s***.

"Would I be the asshole if I back out of the wedding?" We seriously don't think so - and everyone on Reddit agreed. Some questioned how the bride could ask her friend to be there, others were annoyed that the cheating ex was going and one person pointed out that there was probably some kind of plan afoot. "I would bet my last pair of clean panties that the groom is trying to help foster a 'talk to her at the wedding' type of thing."  

Update: she went to the wedding

The woman responded to her initial post after the date had passed, saying she'd decided to go - and that it hadn't been too bad. She walked down the aisle with her ex and had the decency to appear ashamed afterwards, sitting alone as the night wore on.

"I didn’t want people talking about him so I asked him to dance with me which was actually really, really nice since we both didn’t say anything. "At the end of it he but his hands around my face like he was going to kiss me (I would have totally let him, in that moment) and just whispered how sorry he was and walked away."

It was the last thing they ever have to do together, she said.

"I knew I made the right choice in being there for my friend. "So that is that, wedding is over and done with. No real drama, lots and lots of hurt feelings and a huge broken heart that I’m not sure how it will ever heal."