Someone had to do it, we’re only shocked it took this long.
EVERYONE owned Jagged Little Pill in the 90s (see more here), and one of the stand-out tracks on the album was Ironic, even though the scenarios described in the lyrics were terrible, terrible examples of ‘irony’. Now, Rachael Leah and Eliza Hurwitz have rewritten the classic song; It’s Finally Ironic (You’re Welcome, Alanis).
For those who wish to sing along, the full lyrics are:
An old man turned 98
He won the lottery, and died the next day
from a sever paper cut from his lottery ticket
It’s a black fly in your chardonnay
that was specifically purchased to repel black flies
It’s a death row pardon that causes your demise,
because you leave the jail and get hit by a bus
And that really is ironic
We fixed it for you, Alanis (you’re welcome)
It’s like rain on your wedding day, a day and place
You chose because it’s known not to rain
It’s a free ride, but you get mugged on the way
We’ve got good advice we’re forcing you to take
And who would’ve thought, it figures!
Mr. Play-it-safe was afraid to drive,
Instead he packed his suitcase and got ready to fly
He wasted his whole damn life being afraid of cars
But as the plane crashed down, he thought, well isn’t this nice?
And that really is ironic
We fixed it for you, Alanis (you’re welcome)
It’s like rain on your wedding day, a day and place
You chose because it’s known not to rain
It’s a free ride, but you get mugged on the way
We’ve got good advice we’re forcing you to take
And who would’ve thought, it figures!
We’ve got an editorial way of sneaking up on you
When you think your irony is okay and the examples in your song are right
We’ve got an editorial way of helping you out when your song
About irony is wrong and everyone says it to your face
A traffic jam causes you to leave early,
But you rush and get in a crash, which causes you to be late
A no-smoking sign you hung up when you quit,
Now you started again but can’t smoke ’cause of the sign
It’s like ten thousand spoons you bought with your only knife
Now all you need is a knife, but you only have spoons!
It’s meeting the man of your dreams…
And meeting his beautiful wife at couples therapy
And that really is ironic, don’t you think?
Finally ironic, and yeah we really do think
It’s like rain on your wedding day, a day and place
You chose because it’s known not to rain
It’s a free ride, but you get mugged on the way
We’ve got good advice we’re forcing you to take
Our changes make it so your song makes sense
who would’ve thought, it figures!
We’ve got an editorial way of sneaking up on you
We’ve got an editorial, editorial way of helping you out,
Helping you out.
