First dates are fun.
Most of the time.
Being single while also simultaneously living in Dublin is, at the best of times, tough.
Everyone you meet, you know, and if you don’t know them, then your mate at least knows them or knows someone who has also dated them.
You’d have a hard old time walking around town and not bumping into at least 17 people you’ve shared awkward, horrific, questionable, sometimes-alright-maybe first dates with.
You met, you hugged awkwardly, you drank approximately 18 pints, you talked shite, you pretended that you absolutely had your life in order, and you went home.
Standard.
Generally, these kinds of first dates are fine. Nondescript, average, nothing to write home about.
And then there are those first dates that leave you genuinely shook to your core.
… Namely because the things being said during these dates are, at best, questionable, and, at worst, definitely making me lose all faith in humanity as we know it.
Here are some of those things.
1. “Are you as good at giving head as you are at kissing?”
2. “Why the fuck are you vegetarian?”
3. “I’m good at penetration if you know what I mean.”
4. “Can’t wait for you to meet my mam.”
5. “I’m moving to Saudi Arabia but if things go well here I might make other plans.”
6. “Your one over there is a ride… Sorry Jade.”
7. “I’m definitely not over my ex.”
8. “No, I don’t have an iPhone charger at home.”
9. “I can’t help that I manspread.”
10. “You should get surgery.”
11. “So are you going to write an article about me or what?”
