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17th Mar 2019

Woman torn as partner of 18 months doesn’t want their pregnancy

'Since finding out he has gone mental.'

Melissa Carton

Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

One woman has found herself in an impossible situation after finding out her partner doesn’t want their pregnancy.

She’s now afraid that she may have to choose between him or her baby.

The mum-to-be posted on Mumsnet about her concerns.

“Hi all first day here.

“So I work full time and I’ve found out Monday I’m pregnant.

“I’ve wanted another child for about 5 years. Since finding out he (partner) has gone mental.”

She went on to discuss how they’ve had a rocky relationship in the past and even broke up for a time.

“Was briefly with current partner 10 years ago which broke down.

“I had a termination because I was physically unwell and mentally I’ve never dealt with it, mainly due to the fact he went on to have another child with someone else not long after”

“We have been together 18 months.

“We have discussed children and agreed initially then he changed his mind and was asking me to restart contraception. We are unsure how far along I am and I’m terrified he’s asked me to choose him or the baby.”

The 39 year old went on to explain that leaving him would put her in financial straits and she doesn’t have a lot of family that could help her with a new baby.

Many commenters on the site asked her if she did go through with a termination would she ever be able to look at her partner the same way again?

“I’m sorry you’re in this position.
I think you need to consider, if you have an abortion to save the relationship, how will you feel in the relationship after? Will you resent him for having pushed you to that?

“You can’t turn the clock back, and he needs to understand than an abortion doesn’t mean that the pregnancy never happened for you, and there will potentially be repercussions to deal with (I’m saying this because you say you were physically and mentally unwell after a previous abortion).”

Others felt that he may just be shell-shocked and will come around after a while.

“I think you need to give him some time, you dont need to make a decision straight away. My partner was adamanent at first that we should get rid of our baby (still living at parents home etc) but he came round eventually and now some days I’m sure he’s more excited than I am.

“I don’t know how far along you are but you probable have a few weeks to make a final decision, let him feel it out and sit with it.”

It certainly has opinions divided.

From the responses, it’s evident she’s not the first pregnant woman to find herself in this predicament but nevertheless, she’s got some difficult decisions ahead of her.