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08th Jan 2018

Woman slams ‘sexist’ tradition of guy asking dad’s permission to propose

It’s one of the most long held traditions.

But many people nowadays find the idea of a man asking a woman’s dad for her hand in marriage to be outdated.

And one woman’s recent comments about the wedding custom sparked on online debate, after she insisted she  would “immediately dump anyone” who did so.

The anonymous woman took to Mumsnet to voice her distaste for the tradition.

She wrote:

“I didnt think this still happened. But a friend of a friend wad recently telling me that their husband had done this!

engagement ring trend

“It was clear that she considered this romantic and proper, so I didnt question it.

“But, I would immediately dump anyone who thought my dad had any say in who i can marry.

“Plus, my dad would laugh them out of town any way.”

Many people took the parenting forum in agreement with the woman, agreeing that it was “outdated” and “absurd”.

One person said:

“Definitely not! And my wonderful late dad would have been worried about the kind of man I was with, who thought he had a right to treat me like men’s property.”

Another added:

“If it ‘shows respect for the parents’, why the hell is it only the dad who gets asked? What a load of outdated bollocks!”

engagement ring style

Someone else commented:

“A ludicrous tradition that should have died out years ago – along with the assumption that parents pay for the wedding!”

Meanwhile, someone else said:

“I would never marry someone who did this. Disgusting tradition belongs firmly in the past.”

Other people acknowledged that they found the custom to be polite, but that it should be both parents being asked.

A commenter wrote:

“I think it’s nice to tell the parents first if you are in contact, but to ask just the Dad of the woman is absurd.”

But other people told how they were delighted to find out that heir other halves asked their dads.

One person said:

“Yes mine did, but it was after we had got privately engaged, I knew dad would’ve agreed and it made no difference if he hadn’t.

“It was 100% unnecessary, and kind of light-hearted and sweet.”

Someone else pointed out:

“8 years ago he asked both my parents or rather he told them he wanted to marry me and hoped he had their blessing which he did.

My parents absolutely adored him.

“It wasn’t a permission thing or that I’m someone’s property, it was respectful in my opinion to my family and to be honest all my family know I do what I want anyway so they didn’t see it like that either. They really appreciated him telling them.”

Another commenter wrote:

“My husband was terminally ill and knowing the end was very close, my future son in law asked for my husband’s blessing for when he asked our daughter to marry him.

“What a lovely, thoughtful gesture.”

A forum user added:

“Yes he did six years ago.

“I see it as a sign of respect for my family, not because anyone thinks I’m a possession.

“I also changed my name. Oh and I consider myself a feminist.”