Lesley Miller, we salute you.
The 21-year-old took to Facebook recently to describe why she had waited until she was 21 to share her first ever bikini photo.
In a post on the Love What Matters Facebook page, Lesley explains how she “fought her body every step of the way, continually ashamed and silent”.
She explains her story in full: how she went to Weight Watchers at age 7, had weight-loss surgery at age 11 and how she self-harmed at age 15.
Now, aged 21, she’s embracing her body and this is one post everyone should read:
This is Lesley’s post in full:
“I’ve spent the past 18 years of my life waiting.
I kept my body covered up and hidden away. I told myself that one day I would finally let myself be seen; I would finally do all of the things I dreamed of when I was enough. Thin enough, happy enough, confident enough. When my body looked the way that it was “supposed” to.
I fought my body every step of the way, continually ashamed and silent.
When I was three my classmates asked why I was so much bigger than them. Why I didn’t wear the same smock they did.
When I was seven, I lied to the lady at Weight Watchers, desperate to sit in on meetings full of middle aged women trying to shed a few pounds.
When I was nine I went to weight loss camp and stood in line the first week to take my “before” photo.
When I was eleven the surgeon cut into my stomach, and he told me how happy I would finally be. I was the youngest person to have weight loss surgery.
When I was fifteen, I started cutting into my own skin. I thought I deserved it.
When I was twenty, I lost half my body weight in nine months, my worth for the day solely determined by the number on the scale being lower than the day before.
And then I got tired of waiting.
So now I’m twenty-one and I bought my first bikini. EVER.
You can see it all. Weird bulges and rolls of fat. Hanging excess skin. Stretch marks, cellulite, surgical and self harm scars. Awkward protrusion on my abdomen from my lap band.
I want to learn to love all of myself, not just the parts I’ve been told are “acceptable.” Because the secret is, I was always enough. And you are too.” 🙂
