She’s always been there for you as a shoulder to cry on. She’s always been there to celebrate your greatest achievements. She’s been there through the good times and the bad times. She is your best friend and you couldn’t live without her.
But what would you do if she crossed a line? What if she took your dream job or stole your boyfriend? Would the ‘best friend’ tag excuse these acts?
Let’s face it, friendships can be just as complicated as romantic and familial relationships. After all they are built on the same foundations including trust, honesty and love. And we all know how quickly arguments can get ugly between best friends.
I remember falling out with my best friend over a silly comment years ago. At the time I felt justified because we were best friends and because I valued her view, I took it to heart. Later that day we ended up crying on the telephone and apologising to each other. And within a matter of seconds we were back to being best friends and it felt great to have her on my side again.
That’s when I realised that this is what friendship is all about. It’s about being there to support one another, being there to confide in one another, being there when you are needed despite everything else. It no longer mattered what she had said and how I had reacted. It was about getting over something silly because our friendship meant so much more than that.
Then again that was just a petty fight about a comment. What if your best friend did something that properly hurt you? Would you forgive her because she is your best friend or would you hold a lifelong grudge precisely because she is your best friend and should behave as such?
While I have never had any major fights with my best friend, if she did something terrible such as spread a rumour about me, nab my ideal job or kiss my boyfriend I don’t think I’d be able to forgive her.
Don’t get me wrong, I have known her pretty much all of my life and we have been close friends for over ten years. In fact our friendship is one of the most important things in the world to me. But I would also be of the mind that a best friend should never do anything that would hurt you. Of course it all depends on the situation.
All I know is that I don’t want a soap opera best friend that runs off with my boyfriend to Mexico or covers up the fact that she’s actually my Uncle! I want a friend who stays up until the early hours of the morning chatting, who is on hand when you get bad news, who has your best interests at heart. Luckily I have just that and it would take a lot to jeopardise it.
Friendship can and should forgive a lot of things, such as telling a white lie or not returning a borrowed dress, but there are certain unwritten rules that should also be adhered to. It can be, like any relationship, a complicated state of affairs. But then again, it’s one that is definitely worth protecting if only for those moments when you look back and think, “Aaah, good times.”
Remember ladies, as the Dalai Lama said, “Don’t let a little dispute ruin a great friendship.”
