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Life

25th Oct 2012

Want a Happier Relationship? Here’s One Simple Tip That Could Change Everything

On a daily basis, we talk a lot but when was the last time you had a deep and meaningful conversation with the man in your life? And, more importantly, how can a chat improve your relationship? We find out...

Her

When was the last time you sat down with your man and had a conversation? No, moaning about work while he stares blankly at the telly doesn’t count – we mean an actual conversation.

As in a conversation where you’re both paying attention, engaged and listening as well as chatting.

If you’re struggling to remember the last time such an interaction took place, don’t worry. You’re not alone. This is something that affects a lot of Irish couples and it’s completely natural and normal.

What most people don’t realise is the fact that good conversation is the foundation to a happy relationship. We need to have a decent exchange of banter with our other half in order to continue to feel a connection with him.

Unfortunately when we are happily settled with someone, we tend to fall into a number of conversational traps. When we arrive home in the evening, we immediately launch into a story about work or we start chatting about the kids or household errands that need to get done.

As modern women we’re conditioned to put our children first and our careers second, and while there’s nothing wrong with this, it does mean that our relationship tends to fall to the bottom of the conversational pile.

It’s important to note here that long term relationships are simple in the sense that they have one rule: if you want continued happiness from a long term relationship, you need to make an effort to cultivate this happiness. Basically ladies, if you don’t work on it, you’ll never get anything out of it.

It’s important to really communicate with your partner on a daily basis

Thanks to social networking, we live in a world that has forgotten how to communicate. With Twitter and Facebook, we can actively choose the kind of information we want to pay attention to.

This is fantastic but the bad side is that it blurs our boundaries. Suddenly we feel like we can choose to listen to the things we want to hear when our partner speaks. We feel like it’s perfectly acceptable to check our emails when he talks about his day or email when he’s filling us in about something important.

Sounding familiar? If so it might be a good idea to try and re-cultivate the art of conversation in your relationship. We guarantee that it will not only improve things with your man, you’ll also start feeling happier and more positive as a result.

So how can you do it? Here are three simple tips to get you talking…

1. Have a date night: Once a week, have a date night away from the house. Don’t speak about your job, the kids or anything else that usually stops you from having a “real” conversation with your man. Use the time to focus solely on each other and really listen to what the both of you have to say.

2. Leave your phone out of sight: When you get home in the evening, take your phone and put it away. Keep it out of sight and instead use all your free time to chat to your man. Ask him how his day was, if he’s enjoying that book he’s reading, discover what he feels like doing next weekend – don’t put any pressure on yourself, just see where the conversation flows and follow it naturally.

3. Have a tech-free night: Try having a night where you switch off the TV, log off Twitter and put away your laptop. Instead talk about anything and everything with your man. Make plans for the future, reminisce, tell jokes – just have fun and enjoy the companionship.