If you have had the pleasure of meeting someone visiting our fair isle, you may have noticed that they will always have at least one unrealistic expectation. On many an occasion, we have been forced to crush their dreams. Here are twelve things they might expect when they get here.
Despite popular belief, we don’t actually have leprechauns in Ireland as an indigenous species. Sadly. Still, that doesn’t stop tourists running to find the end of rainbows frantically while the population stand there shaking their head.
2. Everyone is drunk.
Sure, we’re mad for the drink. It’s all we do, drink all day, from the time we get up in the morning til the time we go to bed at night. Even in work.
3. We’re all in the middle of a war.
We’re not trying to make light of anything, but whenever a tourist comes to Ireland they first ask if you are Catholic or Protestant and then what it is like to have lived through a war.
4. We Riverdance to and from work.
We love the dancing, we love the dancing so much that we all do is do a jig to and from work every day. They’re always disappointed when Michael Flatley isn’t with us.
5. We all speak Irish. Fluently. All the time.
Well, there are quite a few who are brilliant at the cupla focla. However, most of us only have that, cupla focail.
6. Plenty of red-haired cailín!
Tourist: Why don’t you have red hair?
Random Irish person: Sorry, what?
7. People playing tin whistles… everywhere.
We can play musical instruments, but we don’t necessarily break into a tune at every opportunity. Titanic gave a lot of people the wrong impression.
8. We love the fighting.
Any excuse for a knuckle fight! Those tourists will love the fact that we all fall out of pubs at about 2am and kick each other up and down the road.
9. Women are at home, men are out on the land.
Most tourists are under the impression that we have some kind of Quiet Man lifestyle going on here which is not the case anymore.
10. Everyone is related to everyone.
We may all know each other, but we are NOT all related. Alright fine, that is my cousin but that’s a RARE example. Honestly.
11. Potatoes for every single meal.
We are fond of a spud here and there but we do actually eat other things for dinner occasionally. I know, pizza, mad isn’t it?
12. We all wear shamrocks on our jackets… and in our hair.
Poor tourists think that on top of all of the above that we harvest a hell of a lot of shamrock in our back gardens and that it’s pretty much a staple on all of our clothing. Well, sorry folks.