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Life

05th Sep 2016

Twelve situations that only Irish people manage to get themselves into

Oh, the trouble we get ourselves into.

Her

As a nation, we are more than a little strange. It’s only when we travel abroad that we realise how much of a unique little country we actually are. There are some curious situations that we manage to get ourselves into; it must be Murphy’s law. Here are twelve of them.

Extreme Walks of Shame.

Yes, we know that you see walks of shame the world over but we are exceptionally brilliant at these. We don’t just walk home the next day, we finally make it home about three months later… from London, where we got married. But we’re not sure how or why? Do we live there now? Possibly. We woke up in a new job.

Lock-ins.

Ever see anyone from Ireland leave a pub when they call for last orders? Nope. You know why? Because we KNOW there is going to be a lock-in. ALL NIGHT LONG!

Fry-up parties.

Then when you finally leave the pub everybody knows what’s going to happen. You need to stay up just long enough to figure out where you can go to pick up all the essentials for a fry-up. It’s a fry-up party!

The One.

As Irish people, we always manage to get ourselves into situations where we go to the pub for the one but it’s never just the one, is it? It’s always about 21. ROUNDS! Good Lord, please no!

Irish Abroad.

No matter how hard we try or how much we convince ourselves that we are going abroad to meet new people and travel, we know in our heart and soul that this is a lie. We’re going to find new Irish people abroad. We’re going to be in a big gang.

Father Ted Quoting Contests.

We love Father Ted. It’s a national institution and so we end up in endless contests with other people to find out who is the King of the Father Ted Quoting Contest. THEY ALL HAVE LOVELY BOTTOMS.

Extreme Awkwardness.

Since we can’t take compliments all that well, we just seem to thrive in extreme awkwardness. The compliment is delivered and we spend the next ten minutes jumping from one foot to the other and shouting “PENNEYS! I GOT IT IN PENNEYS!!!” at the top of our voices.

House Parties.

No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you want to be in bed before 3am, you just know you are going to wake up in some random house, possibly on the other side of the world. We only love a good house party.

Stealing Signs.

Like a magnet, like a moth to the flame, we just can’t resist a good sign and so inevitably, you will find us trying to remove a sign because it will “go really well in the room”. Why do we do it?! They must put something on the sign to attract us.

Tea and Toast rounds.

Ah sure, I’ll just have the one cup of tea. But then you’ll have to make a cup of tea? Want some toast? Shall we go in rounds?

Trouble with Gardaí.

The worst thing about getting into trouble with the Gardaí is the fact that we don’t even realise we are getting into trouble with the Gardaí. Honestly now Garda, I’m really sorry. I didn’t even realise I was doing it. Please don’t tell my mother.

Trouble.

Just in general. Well, we’ll always manage to talk our way out of it.

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