Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey hit the bookshelves of the world, there’s been something of a sexual revolution. It’s ignited an open discourse on sex of the kinky variety and it has encouraged women across the globe to re-examine their own sex lives and what it is they expect in the bedroom.
While taking the time to think about your sex life is always beneficial (for you and your partner) it can also highlight problems and places where you fall short in the boudoir. According to relationship experts, one of the main things that the Fifty Shades of Grey movement is illuminating for women is the fact that they have fallen into a sex rut.
Nothing good ever comes from being stuck in a sexual comfort zone. Sure, you know what works for you and you love your partner’s moves – but most times the sex itself, while good, continues to be routine or average. There are no frills or thrills.
So how can you break the routine and start having amazing, mind-blowing, swinging from the chandeliers type sex? Here are three simple tips to help you break the cycle.
It’s important to let go of the things that are holding you back, especially when it comes to sex
Let go of whatever is holding you back: When you’re a woman, your brain tends to play a massive role when it comes to your sex life. We’re critical beings between the sheets, and you probably know from experience that if you’re not completely comfy or if you’re worrying about work, the big O just isn’t going to happen for you.
The quickest way that you can break out of a sexual rut is to let your guard down, switch your brain off and just let loose. Unleash the inner wild-woman and live by the mantra that if something feels good, you should just do it (well, between the sheets anyway).
When you let your guard down, it symbolises to your partner that you really trust him and it also opens up new possibilities. So if you’re in bed and you get the notion to try something new, suggest it to your partner, give it a go and see what happens.
Take it slow: When you’re trying to spice things up in your sex life, it doesn’t mean that you have to go from zero to dominatrix in the space of five minutes. Stepping out of a routine that you’re used to can be scary. It can make you feel a bit nervous. Take things slow. Take time to figure out the things that turn both yourself and your partner on.
Yes, losing your inhibitions means taking chances, but taking these chances at a comfortable pace will make the experience much more enjoyable for both of you.
Get your talk on: The next time you’re in bed with your man, start talking. Share with him the things that turn you on. When we’re already in bed, sex is something that is on our minds, so you’ll find it easier to open up about any fantasies you may have. Talk to your partner about them and ask him to share his with you. You can proceed from there when it comes to trying something new.