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14th Mar 2017

Are you in a thruple? How to successfully date more than one person at a time

Niamh Maher

It’s all the rage these days.

The digital age… a glorious time where we’re no longer bound by ancient clichèd roles, where we can be generous with our time and live our best life.

Basically, it’s fun to date, and we like doing it.

Being single and playing the field is no longer a bad thing, and being a woman playing the field feels particularly good as for so long, for some unknown reason, it was frowned upon.What’s wrong with dating multiple people as long as everyone is consenting and no-one is getting hurt? If we were writing a rom-com right now, the ending would be that ultimately we find the man or woman that changes everything and we settle down.

NO! That is NOT the point of this piece. The point is, that maybe we’re not meant to be with one person, maybe we enjoy the company of multiple men or women, so how can one successfully do that without getting caught (I jest… I jest).

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We’ve compiled a list to help you navigate the murky waters of multiple dating.

Now, of course, if you’re in a happy monogamous relationship, you should probably look away now (if we’re being honest you shouldn’t have clicked this article at all… awkward).

Here’s our top tips:

  • DON’T be looking for an ego boost, that’s not cool and it will bite you in the a**
  • DO be honest, let the person know you’re not exclusive, that’s just good manners (don’t be too honest though, because meh)
  • DO ask yourself why you’re doing it, if you’re heartbroken or in a bad place in your life it’s probably best to focus on you
  • DO feel empowered by your decision, own it, don’t be ashamed
  • DO be open minded… about dating multiple people and about finding the ‘ONE’, don’t presume your way is the only way
  • DO be safe and cautious at ALL times (because… ew)
  • DO be aware that some people won’t be happy with you, they may not understand your decision
  • DON’T get people confused, I mean for CRYING out loud get it together
  • DON’T overthink things, live in the moment and enjoy

Whether you’re in a polyamorous relationship, an open relationship or just single and undecided, the most important thing is to follow your heart and be true to yourself.

That last line felt a bit rom-comy. Apologies, time to write a new fairy tale!