If you’ve ever been caught between two people, or worse, feeling yourself growing attracted to someone while in a happy relationship, unfortunately the chances are you could love two people at once.
Clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula from UCLA says:
“We assume love comes in one flavour, but it’s really much more Baskin Robbins than that.
“We are complex and complicated beings, and it’s very possible that two different traits in two different people can both appeal to us.”
The theory comes from the fact that as we grow and change as an individual, other people can appeal to different aspects of your personality or feelings. Durvasula attributes the multi-facets of our personalities to the fact that we can be drawn to the personalities one person has that another misses.
As well as identifying a physical attraction in one another, Durvasula says times of transition can open your heart to more than one person:
“When you’re going through a positive transition—anything from an exciting new job to a physical transformation—and are feeling happy with yourself, you’re more open to new experiences and new people.”
She continues by noting that the more you appreciate your own values and what you care about, the more likely you are to fall in love with others.
So what if you’re in a position where you have to choose?
“Take a trip. Do whatever you need to do to step back and remove yourself from the situation.
“As awful as it sounds, make a pros and cons list. We get caught up in the passion and rush of feeling in love, but companionate love wins in the end.”
Unfortunately, there’s a real possibility that you could be happy with either person, but it’s knowing what you want most from a relationship that will help you ultimately make the call.
Or maybe you’ll decide to be alone.
As Samantha Jones once said, “I’ve been in a relationship with myself for 49 years and that’s the one I need to work on.”
H/T Women’s Health
