While falling in love can be full of fun-filled moments, it’s also important to realise that making a commitment to your partner can sometimes take a discussion or two.
The burst of all things exciting and new can keep any relationship fresh in its early stages, but before you commit, can you promise yourself you’re keeping true to your own needs?
Speaking to Women’s Health, psychologist Jane Greer outlined some of the more important questions you need to have with your other half before making a commitment…
Where to live…
Whether you dream of living in the bright lights of a city, or your other half has no intention of leaving their rustic countryside settings, it’s a talk you’re going to need to sit down and have.
Psychologist Jane Greer says:
“This is essential because if one person expects to live in a certain state or town and the other wants to move across the country or closer to their family, you’ll wind up arguing and feeling resentful.”
Religion
While there is absolutely no obligation for you to marry someone with the same (or little) religious beliefs as yourself, if you plan on settling down with someone and having children it’s important to know where you stand on raising them in a faith.
Agree how you want to share your faith, or if it is something that even plays an active role in your life.
Plans For Parenthood
It might sound obvious, but be sure to have a conversation with a potential long-term partner early on whether or not you want children.
If you’re both on the same baby-making page, make sure to talk about some of the finer things like how strict you’d plan to raise them, or if you’d like them to attend certain types of school. Greer adds:
“You don’t want one person expecting to start a family while the other actually has no interest in having children. Being on the same page [on how to raise kids] at least ensures you’re on the same team.”
Their Relationship With Their Parents
A good way to understand your other half and their reactions could be to look at the relationship they share with their parents.
According to Greer:
“Seeing a person have a good relationship with their parents and treating them with respect says a lot about core experiences they have had growing up.”
Greer later adds that if they have a bad relationship with their parents, it could still indicate a good character, saying:
“Some people have mothers who were self-involved, neglectful, or even abusive while they were growing up. Under those circumstances, healthy distance from her would be understandable.”
Financial Goals
Agreeing on your spending style and how you plan to afford a shared lifestyle might sound boring, but it’s a necessity. Managing finances can be one of the most damaging fights in a relationship. Ideally, you and a partner should have similar financial responsibilities and goals:
“It’s important to know you have similar values about money and finances. Otherwise, it will be difficult to have shared financial goals you can both work toward.”
How They Speak To Waiters, Staff, Customer Service
It’s important to recognise the way your other half treats strangers, especially those providing a service to them.
Recognising how they treat others is not only important, it could show some key qualities needed for any relationship:
“Someone who can breathe though difficult moments and remain considerate is someone with a lot of inner resources to handle stress and the unexpected, both of which I assure you come up in life and relationships,” says Greer.
Sexual Satisfaction
It might sound obvious, but agreeing on how much sex you’d like to be having, and what you can manage as a couple is an important and healthy step in any relationship.
As well as agreeing on how regular you plan to see some action between the sheets, knowing what each other want sexually from a partner and agreeing on your desires will keep both parties satisfied and happier in the long run.
Hat tip: Jane Greer via Women’s Health
