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20th Jan 2013

The Rules of Rejection: How to Bounce Back When Things Don’t Go As Planned

Rejection can be pretty tough. Here's how you can handle it.

It doesn’t matter what way you put it: rejection hurts. It doesn’t matter whether your rejection was big or small, the pain you feel is always the same size.

Whether you didn’t get the job you were perfect for or whether you confessed your true feelings to someone who just wasn’t interested, it’s safe to say that rejection is a major blow to your self-confidence. It makes you feel stupid, embarrassed and, well, like an idiot.

So how do you bounce back after you’ve just experienced a rejection? Here are a few tips that will hopefully help you to get back on your feet.


Give yourself time: We know it can be tempting to just admit defeat as soon as get rejected and ring up everyone you know and cry down the phone to them, but it’s much better to just allow it to sink in for 24 hours. Give yourself a solid day to just sit with what happened and allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling.

If you’re upset – cry your eyes out. If you’re angry – write it all out. If you’re disappointed – allow yourself to lick your wounds. Whatever it is, just feel it for an entire day. This will help to get it out of your system and help you to cope better when it comes to getting over the experience and moving on with your life.

Perspective: Have you ever heard the phrase, “Rejection is the Universe’s protection”? After a major blow to your self-confidence it’s important to give yourself a positive perspective. Consider the above phrase and try to think that maybe, just maybe the Universe had your back on this one.

Maybe that guy was bad news for you, and the fact that he didn’t call you back was a blessing in disguise or maybe that job would have been so stressful it would have run you into the ground. Try to see the positives in your situation – it’ll help to take the edge off the pain.

It’s important to be kind to yourself when you’re experiencing rejection

Be kind to yourself: When one door closes, another one opens. Just because you didn’t pick the right door this time around it doesn’t mean that you’re stupid or not pretty enough or not talented enough. Be compassionate to yourself – don’t add to your suffering by being harsh.

One of the kindest things you can say to yourself when you’re dealing with rejection is that you did the best you could. If you did the best you could, then it really isn’t your fault that it didn’t work out.

Don’t take it personally: Instead of hating yourself for what happened, simply detatch yourself from the experience and ask yourself what you learned from it and how you can move on with your life. In most cases, the rejection wasn’t even to do with you in the first place!

Remember: people often have loads of private reasons as to why they behave in a certain way, and they may not even consider the way you treat you as being “a rejection.”