The Mystery Of Man Flu: The Symptoms, Why Women Don’t Get It, The Cure

It remains a mystery to about half of the world’s population. It’s that time of the year again, when it’s ready to strike hard at the very heart of masculinity. It’s one of man’s greatest fears. It can all but kill a man within hours.

It’s the man-flu, a completely debilitating disorder, with the strangest of symptoms. The virus is known to attack the immune system at a massive 10,000 times harder than the common cold and 5,000 times harder than any cold to have hit a woman.

It lasts nearly twice as long as the average post-Saturday night hangover.

Self-diagnosis is the best means of determining if the subject has Man Flu, as in most cases, nobody will believe that he is actually suffering at all. Due to genetic differences, women are immune from the Man Flu.

Symptoms of Man Flu (men)

• Sneezing and coughing
• Hunger pains
• Losing the ability to see (except the television)
• Losing the ability to walk (except to the fridge and back)
• Losing the ability to do anything except groan in agony when observed by others
• Inability to visit the in-laws for the weekend

Symptoms of Man Flu (women)

• Nothing at all

Mark Hall, Gentleman Creation Officer at www.socked.co.uk, the black sock subscription for discerning gentlemen, commented: "If Man Flu is kind enough not to kill the infected party it will leave him weak, sick, aching all over with a tell-tale craving for sandwiches, a cold beer, TV and plenty of rest."

While it is common knowledge that there is no cure for Man Flu, Socked.co.uk has conducted research which shows the following conventional methods exhibit the most promising results:

Wet socks

1. Warm your feet in hot water,

2. Soak a pair of socks in cold water, wring them out and put them on.

3. Put a pair of dry socks over the wet ones and go to bed.

The wet socks will help draw blood to your feet, thereby boosting circulation, which helps clear congestion.

Lay down flat and watch television

Research has shown that by just watching and listening to TV for 30 minutes can boost levels of Immunoglobulin A (IgA), which is an immune protein that plays a critical role in defending against further infection.

Drink beer

Beer contains theobromine, a component that suppresses nerve activity responsible for coughing and has been found to be three times more effective in stopping persistent coughs than codeine.

Men looking out for men… us women can’t be fooled!