Wizzard’s Christmas song, while a festive treat, is also a logistical nightmare.
Christmas simply cannot occur every day or the world would be reduced to turmoil.
Here are the main issues presenting such a romantic but ultimately unfeasible proposition.
Turkey Inflation
Having Christmas every day would put a huge demand on our resources of turkey. The Increase in demand would lead to the prices going up and we would be looking at paying upwards of €5,000 for a turkey this time next year. This has a knock-on effect for other Christmas food such as ham, potatoes and stuffing. Brussel sprouts would remain untouched both in terms of consumption and price because they are literally garbage.
Increased Murder
Christmas is a time to spend with your family. If Christmas was to occur every day, people would be constantly surrounded by their relatives being asked the same questions and receiving the same shady responses. Tempers would inevitably flare and realistically we are looking at a huge increase in aggravated murderers being sent to prison.
Health Deterioration
Indulgence is a key part of Christmas. Nothing spreads festive joy like pushing your body to its physical limit with both food and alcohol. However, continuing a similar lifestyle for a prolonged amount of time would guarantee a rapid deterioration in worldwide health, which would put further strain on our already stretched health service resources.
Banter Shortage
Christmas crackers are a known source of reliable banter each holiday season. The joke writers outdo themselves year after year with top notch content. But, these geniuses are afforded 365 days (or 366 in a leap year) between each Christmas to come up with the goods. If Christmas was every day, the strain on these workers would be immense, leading to many quitting their jobs on stress leave, allowing the possibility of banter disappearing completely by 2018 :O
Mrs Brown’s Boys Overload
The human condition can only tolerate so much of Mrs Brown’s Boys. While it can easily be avoided throughout the year, if it was Christmas every day, society would crumble under the pressure of tolerating such muck. Personalities would change, patience would decrease and irritation would increase. In summary, Christmas simply cannot occur every day because there would be too much Mrs Brown’s Boys to tolerate.
