Meeting your boyfriend’s ex is never easy, but we’ll be honest ladies and tell you that it’s something that is probably going to happen at some point in time – especially if their split was relatively amicable and they still move in the same social circles.
While the thoughts of bumping into someone who was probably the love of your man’s life once upon a time are disconcerting, there are a few tips and tricks you can use to diffuse the situation and make a good impression, i.e. show that you are a reasonable grown-up and that the ex doesn’t bother you in the slightest (even if she does actually bother you a great deal).
Read on and find out how you can handle the situation with dignity and awesomeness…
Whatever you do, don’t stare at his ex if she shows up on a night out
No matter what, keep cool: According to the cruel, cruel laws of the universe, chances are you’ll probably meet your man’s ex when you look an absolute state. If you’re at a party, she’ll be effortless glam and you’ll be wiping red wine off your white dress and trying to look cool. No matter what the circumstance of your meeting, it is essential that you remain cool and calm.
Don’t feel threatened or scared or worried, simply treat her as you’d treat any work colleague or acquaintance. She means nothing to him anymore, she’s just another person in his life. If it helps, take a few deep breaths. There’s nothing to worry about here.
Don’t glare at her from across the room: While your first instinct may be to have a sneaky stalk and eye-up the competition, resist the urge. Staring at her will only make her feel uncomfortable and will make you look like a crazy, bunny-boiler type girlfriend (and you definitely don’t want that).
If you really can’t stop yourself from staring, diffuse the situation by walking over to her and introducing yourself. Don’t address the fact that you’re the current girlfriend, leave your man out of it and just chat to her. If you have to say something, simply state that you’re at the party/cinema/wherever with your man, but give his name. Don’t say “I’m with MY GORGEOUS, SEXY BOYFRIEND WHO I ADORE!” just say: “I’m with Michael/George/Chris/Derek.”
Try not to feel insecure: Remember, your man CHOSE to be with you now. His relationship with this other woman didn’t work out for a reason. You have nothing to feel insecure or threatened about. She’s just a person. Relax.
Be nice: Take a second to think about how you’d feel if yourself and your man parted ways – how upset would you be? This woman has been through all that, so try and be nice to her. See things from her point of view – imagine if you saw your ex acting all loved up with his new woman? A little compassion goes a long way. Think of how you’d like to be treated in a situation like this. Being nice will show that you’re not a petty person. Remember, manners are free and they go a long way.
Don’t get sucked in to drama: If his ex tries to get you chatting about your relationship with your man, or if she starts making rude/offensive comments don’t rise to her bait. Simply say “it was nice meeting you” and leave. Getting sucked into a fight with her will not only make her look bad, it’ll reflect incredibly badly on you too.
Keep your head up and your dignity intact by wishing her well and moving on.
