Ah, college roommates. Whether they become our lifelong best friends or sworn mortal enemies, these individuals are destined to leave a lasting impact on our lives. Sharing a house during the early days of college is a fantastic experience for alot of us, but for some it can be an endurance test more challenging than anything that could possibly appear on an exam paper.
From the kitchen slobs and all-night partiers, to the petty thieves and driest people on planet earth, here are six nightmare roommates we all experience at some point during our college years….
The bathroom monsters
We’re not ones to generalise, but these particular creatures do seem to share a distinct set of characteristics. We’re talking about their long, thick manes of hair, super healthy teeth and strange affinity for Noah and his arc. What are we basing all of this on? Well, the hair-clogged shower drains, the daily strings of floss in the sink, and the constant floods and sopping wet bath mats are all strong indicators. It’s possible that this group also shares a love for (extremely) abstract art – the pile of empty toilet rolls scattered on the bathroom floor would certainly seem to suggest so.
The thieves
Petty theft is one of our biggest pet peeves. Despite the name, stealth is not high on the list of words we’d use to describe this bunch. Yes, we know that they’ve stolen our expensive lipstick (we’ve seen them use it on nights out), and no, we’re not confused about what happened to the last of our Nutella. The resident house thief ate it, just like (s)he polished off the remainder of our favourite toastie cheese and our last packet of boil in the bag rice. And don’t even get us started on all that magically-disappearing milk. When it comes to stealing, however, there’s nothing worse than preying on people’s tea bags. That is just low.
The all-night partiers
We enjoy a good night out as much as anyone, but even during the most outrageous weeks of partying, we have our limits. Put simply, we’re happy to party til the cows come home, but these individuals just want to keep partying with the cows. Every. single. night. With terrible taste in music, a suspect circle of friends, and a general lack of any basic sense of human decency (we get very cranky when it comes to sleep deprivation), the all-night partiers test us to our very core. Hobbies include inviting all of their pals around at 4am, blaring hideous music until the sun comes up and ignoring all of our pleas to just shut up and leave.
The driest people on planet earth
As the name would suggest these flatmates are absolutely no craic whatsoever. And what’s worse, they’re likely to do everything in their ability to also stop you and your friends having any fun. They don’t skip lectures, they’ve never seen the inside of a nightclub and all they’re interested in talking about is study. College is so wasted on them.
The kitchen slobs
I love this mess! Said no one ever when they arrive home to a filthy kitchen after a long day of lectures. For alot of people this is probably the least popular group on the list. Living with someone who seems to enjoy leaving rotten food to congeal in pots, pans, bowls and lunchboxes, and not flying off the handle with the person has to be one of the biggest challenges faced by college students. You cautiously peer into the press in search of something resembling a saucepan to cook your dinner and you have night terrors just thinking about what’s potentially growing in the middle of that pile of unwashed dishes beside the sink. What is wrong with these people?
The cheapskates
“Oh I’ll sort you out next week.” This is the catchphrase of our final crew, and it’s one that leaves us wanting to tear our hair out. Vices include never paying their share of the bills on time, always disappearing when it’s their round and rarely contributing anything to the household. Just sort us out now; we’re all poor students living on the breadline.
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