The first time my boyfriend came to meet my parents he had two options: he could either sleep on the sofa downstairs or he could situate himself in the local hotel.
Now, don’t get me wrong. My parents are absolutely lovely and they were more than happy to meet him (and foot the hotel bill – thanks Mam and Dad). There were just a few factors that fed into their decision.
The first one being that the house was mid-renovation and we lacked a guest room. The second one being that there was no way in hell that Mr Boyfriend was going to be bunking in with myself.
Basically, he could make do with the sofa and share the living room with our dog or he could have an actual bed in the hotel down the road.
Thankfully they eventually agreed to let me stay in the hotel with Mr Boyfriend, although I could tell from my Mother’s pursed lips that they weren’t exactly thrilled with my bright idea to keep him company.
You see parents are always uncomfortable when you announce that your gentleman friend will be coming to stay for a few days.
In Ireland especially, it’s become a prudish tradition that you should be separated from your other half for the entire duration of your visit to your parents’ house.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been a couple for years, if you already live together or if you’re only a few weeks away from getting engaged. Sharing a bed with your boyfriend in your parents’ house just isn’t going to happen. It’s one of those unspoken rules.
Obviously your parents don’t like the thoughts of you getting jiggy under their roof, but sharing a bed and knowing that your Mam and Dad are right next door doesn’t exactly inspire the most amorous of thoughts in fairness.
Actually the majority of us would just be WAY too weirded out to even kiss our boyfriends in front of our parents. So basically, are their fears about us being naughty once we bid them goodnight sort of irrational?
We’re inclined to say yes. And a follow up question ladies: is it time that our parents just grew up when it comes to sex?
Yourself and your boyfriend may not be all over each other under their roof, but sex is a healthy part of any relationship and obviously you’re engaging in it when Mam and Dad aren’t knocking around. They know it, we know it – even the neighbours probably know it.
Why should we have to pretend that we’re still innocent every time we head home with our boyfriends in tow?
Many would argue that it’s all to do with respect. It’s a mark of respect that you don’t defile your parents’ home with your debaucherous behaviour. This is fair enough, we understand that our parents don’t want to hear us going at it. And likewise, we definitely don’t want to hear them either.
However, could we not argue that if it is all to do with respect, should our parents not respect us too? They should respect our relationship by trusting us to share a bed with himself and not get up to any untoward behaviour as soon as everyone else has gone to sleep.
Respect does work both ways after all, right?
What do you think? Is it time that our parents broke away from tradition and allowed us to literally sleep with our partners?
