Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been reporting from Leannclann, after being granted exclusive access to spend time with Granny Mary, the head of the McGargles brewery. We’ve heard what she has to say about celeb selfies, red carpet disasters and famous on-off relationships.
I’ve had a fantastic time in Leannclann, but it’s time to bid fond farewells to the McGargles. As a parting gift, Granny Mary has given me some of her best advice for securing the shift on New Year’s Eve, so I’m going to pass it on to you.
Find your match
“If Johnny from next door has been giving you the eye, New Year’s Eve is a chance to lead him down the garden path. When you’re throwing the eye to the other side of the barn dance, keep an eye out for the good ones, not the ones that look like they’d steal the milk out of your tea.”
Be honest (without sale!)
“Let it be known you think he’s yer man. Men understand subtlety as well as my goats understand French. Besides, you’re not getting any younger now are you?”
Give him “the look”
“The look that says “I might be easier than a two piece jigsaw puzzle, but you have to find out for yourself.”
Keep him waiting
“Don’t go eating the face of him right away, or he’ll lose interest before the clock strikes midnight. Then where will you be? Alone in the corner tearing a beer mat to shreds, that’s where!”
Go in for the kill
“Sure look it. If he hasn’t noticed you by midnight just lob the gob. He could do a lot worse!”
Pride slightly wounded, I’m making my way to the ferry. She’s an auld wagon, but she’s no fool. I hope you’ve enjoyed Granny Mary’s advice. And remember don’t go kissing any frogs just because it’s New Year’s Eve.
To find out more about this dysfunctional, yet fully functioning, Irish brewing family make sure to check out, www.mcgargles.com.
