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Life

28th Oct 2016

Relationship experts reveal the most common fights couples have before a break up

Cassie Delaney

Sure look, fighting is a normal, expected element of any relationship. We’ve grown up fighting with our parents, siblings, best friends and significant others.

And most of the time we bounce back.

But there are times in relationships when the fighting seems to outweigh everything else and you know things are coming to an end.

Things obviously differ for every couple but in interviews with The Huffington Post, relationship experts reveal that there are certain fights that inevitably end in a breakup.

The first is the “I feel like we’re friends” fight. Sari Cooper, a therapist in New York City said that this argument is usually down to sex and lack thereof. The person who starts this argument usually is past the point of compromise and feels the sexual connection has evaporated from the relationship.

The second cutting argument is the “We should never have gotten together argument.” Kari Carroll, a marriage and family therapist in Portland, Oregon, says this argument happens when positive memories fade. It usually occurs when couples hold grudges and hang on to negative memories from the beginning of the relationship.

Danielle Kepler, a therapist based in Chicago, Illinois, says the next fatal fallout is the “I’m sorry you feel that way” fight. She says there is really nothing more detrimental than an apology that comes off as condescending and contemptuous. This argument demonstrates a lack of understanding for your partner’s feelings.

Another row that ends in distress is the often exaggerated “you ALWAYS do this,” argument. Marni Feuerman, a marriage and family therapist in Boca Raton, Florida says that these arguments are so overwhelmingly overblown that they inevitably end in disaster.

But worst of all is the “I don’t want to fight anymore fight.”

As contradictory as it may sound, when the fighting stops, it’s usually the biggest signifier of a relationships death.