Search icon


27th Dec 2013

Red Alert – A Not-So-Typical Irish Granny Gives Us Her Opinion On 2013’s Biggest Red Carpet Disasters

A no nonsense take on some red carpet fails...

Last week I caught up with Granny Mary of the McGargles at her home in Leannclann. I’m still here, trying to figure out how to get off the island. Granny Mary graciously put me up in her spare room, in return for a few hours’ work in the brewery. It’s tough going but I’m lucky to be one of the few people from the mainland to have seen the inside of the brewery.

I used my lunch break to ask Granny Mary her opinion on a few of 2013’s biggest red carpet disasters.


Lady Gaga

Red carpet 2

“That’s a fine bit of carpet, shame to leave hoof prints”


Jenifer Lopez

Red Carpet 1

“I used to have a red carpet in the sitting room”


Lena Dunham

Red Carpet 3

“It wasn’t as nice as that one though. The dog kept dragging his arse across it”

Miley Cyrus

Red Carpet 5

“He’s a funny looking fella”


Kim Kardashian

Red Carpet 4

“Should you not be shifting them barley sacks?”


With that my break was over. I’ll be catching up with Granny Mary again soon to get her advice on celebrity relationships. In the mean time I’ve been invited on a night out to Leannclann’s best (and only) nightclub Chancers. I’ve been told the name comes from the fact that there’s an almost 100% chance you’ll meet your future husband/wife there.


To meet the rest of this dysfunctional, yet fully-functioning, Irish brewing family make sure to check out,