Dating in modern Ireland can be an exhausting experience. In short, if we’re not interested in yelling at a fella over a drink in a nightclub, then we don’t really have much hope of expanding our romantic horizons.
When it comes to meeting “The One” our choices are limited and, as a nation we are firmly stuck in our dating ways. We favour the pub and club scene, simply because it’s a tried and tested method of meeting someone (and getting a shift!).
But what if there was a different way? A way that didn’t involve the cutthroat world of speed dating or having to resign yourself to attending the annual Matchmaking Festival in Lisdoonvarna.
There is an ‘underground’ Irish dating scene that has been gaining speed for the past couple of years. It’s been spawning happy couples and facilitating countless meetings for all those lonely hearts out there. The only problem with it? There’s a major stigma attached to it, so it’s a bit like Fight Club – the first rule is that no one talks about it. Ever.
Ladies, we’re talking about online dating. And what’s even more surprising is the fact that we’re talking about online dating in Ireland. Believe it or not there is a thriving online dating scene in our little country. In fact it’s been going strong since the start of the noughties and is valued at more than €7million.
If you do a quick Google search for “Online Dating in Ireland” 49,800,000 results are immediately thrown back at you. There are millions of Irish-specific dating sites out there – each of which have thousands of Irish members. There are countless sites that pledge to introduce you only to Catholic men and women and there are hundreds of dating sites dedicated to hooking you up with men from your own county.
Last year, 1 in 16 Irish people who were surveyed by the Oxford Internet Instituted said that they began their relationship online.
Ireland loves finding love online. There’s just one question – why is no one talking about this? Why is online dating still being viewed as something we should NEVER admit to engaging in? Even devote Catholics are at it – what’s the problem here?
Brian O’Neill is the creator of SparkDating.ie. The Irish website has about 10,000 members at present. He says that while perceptions are changing with regards to online dating in Ireland, most of us are still afraid to broadcast the fact that we’ve turned to the internet to help us find love.
“My view is that most Irish people need a good shake when it comes to dating. Put simply, most people do not discuss dating at all, never mind online dating,” says Brian.
“It is a basic human need that we want companionship, but if people say this then they are accused of being ‘desperate.’ This is linked into the general thing that most Irish people find it difficult to talk about their emotions,” he adds.
He has a point. Our dating dialogues always tend to centre around the events of the previous weekend and the age old question of: “Well? Did ya shift him?!” We very rarely open up about any other avenues we may be trying in an attempt to meet someone.
It also doesn’t help that the Irish have a complicated relationship with the internet. While the younger generation embraces it, we still have the fears of our parents echoing in our ears – “The internet is full of perverts and rapists!” – and for this reason, we dare not utter the words ‘online dating.’
Could you imagine bringing home an amazing guy and having to tell your mother that you met him online? Could you imagine telling her that you willingly put your safety at risk by meeting a stranger from the internet in real life? Chances are it wouldn’t end well…
For something that is so popular and that attracts millions of Irish people every single year, it seems bizarre that we’re not chatting about it more. An open discourse on the topic of online dating is what this country needs. If online dating is brought into the spotlight, it will be made more acceptable and people will no longer feel like they have to hide the real story of how they met their partner.
But why isn’t the media covering this phenomenon more?
“The media does cover online dating, but like any media story they want an ‘angle.’ Also there might be financial reasons as well, newspapers for one make a lot of money out of traditional personal ads,” says Brian.
So bringing online dating into the spotlight rests on us. What do you think ladies? Would you ever try it? Have you ever tried it? Do you believe Mr Right is out there just waiting for you to create a profile?
Whatever your views on online dating, you can’t deny that it does work. So how many couples have met on SparkDating.ie?
“Personally I met my wife through the site, and I have friends who met their partners through it,” says Brian.
“Any figure I gave would only be a guess, but I do firmly believe that at least 10 per cent of people meet their partners online now and this figure will rise,” he adds.
If that isn’t a reason to start talking about finding love online, we don’t know what is.
