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Life

17th Jan 2013

& Nothing But The Truth: When Is It Okay To Tell a White Lie In Your Relationship?

There are certain situations when it's completely acceptable to tell a little fib for the sake of sparing someone's feelings but is it ever acceptable in a relationship?

Her

In life, there are certain situations when it’s completely acceptable to tell a little white lie. You know, like when your body-conscious BFF asks you if her new jeans make her look fat or if your sister asks you what you think of her super-expensive new top.

And while it’s perfectly okay to tell a small white lie in your relationship on the odd occasion, there are a few white lies that could seriously damage what you have with your man if he ever found out the truth.

So how do you know when you tell a little fib and when to own up and tell the truth? Here are the three most common situations most couples find themselves in where they have to choose the truth or a fib…

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He asks you how many people you’ve slept with:  The ex-lover question is never a good one. In fact, there is no way that this conversation could end well. There’s a strong chance that your man is asking you this question because he’s feeling insecure, so if you reply with an honest ‘Well, there was SO many I couldn’t possibly keep count…’ he won’t exactly be thrilled with your truthfulness.

With these types of questions, it’s always best to remain fairly elusive. Simply say: “It doesn’t matter, you’re the only one for me now” and give him a reassuring hug or kiss.

“Of course I don’t think you have a big nose darling….”

He asks you if he’s put on a bit of weight: When you’re living in domestic bliss with your other half, it goes without saying that both of you will gain a few pounds. It’s all down to those cosy nights in with a takeaway and those bottles of wine after a tough day at the office. If your man asks you if you think he’s getting a bit chubby, it’s important to remember that men are just like women when it comes to their bodies – they feel insecure too.

Rather than flat-out telling him to put down the pie and get some exercise, broach the subject in a kind way. If he’s asking for your opinion, be honest but be compassionate as well. Tell him how much you fancy him and love him and rather than telling him he’s gained a few pounds, ask him if he’d like to start going to the gym with you or going for a walk in the evenings. Turn the situation into a positive thing that the two of you can do together. This will stop his insecurity from running wild.

He asks you if you had an orgasm: When it comes to sex, you should never, ever lie. If he saw stars and you didn’t, it’s important to be completely honest. Lying to him in this kind of situation would just make matters worse way down the line (could you imagine how he would feel if he found out you were lying about your pleasure levels in bed? He’d be devastated and would probably never trust you again!).

Simply be brave and tell him what you want in the bedroom. Say: “I didn’t this time, but I’m sure if you did this or this, we’ll definitely get there the next time.”