Apparently you can scrap your mutual love of weird indie films, or a shared passion for fast food. A new study suggests that the best way to determine if you’re coupled up with your soulmate is all down to your vocabulary.
According to research published in the journal Psychological Science, people who use the same function words – like pronouns, prepositions and conjunctions – are more likely to last and stay committed long term.
Researchers at Texas Tech University conducted an experiment on speech, noting how language style matching (LSM) impacted a couple’s happiness and compatibility. (Clearly not dirty talk…)
LSM measures how much two people in a conversation subtly match each other’s speaking or writing style, focusing on words like “I,” “she,” “those,” “in,” “about,” “tons,” “never,” “very,” “quite,” “while,” “because,” and “can,” among others. Although most people don’t realise they are saying these words, repetitions and patterns can be a sign of compatibility.
For the first half of the study, researchers analysed speed dates between 40 men and 40 women. Surprisingly, the people who used similar function words were more likely to report being into each other at the end of the date. In the second study, researchers analysed instant message and text message conversations between 86 couples, looking again at language patterns.
Asking about the relationship satisfaction on the first day, the researchers checked back in three months later to see if the couple had lasted the test of time.
The results proved couples who used more similar function words were about twice as likely to be together three months later. The LSM study even proved to be a stronger indicator of romantic compatibility then the couple’s own self-evaluation reports.
Although it’s likely you won’t meet someone with identical language patterns, the study hints that we might be more likely to subconsciously change our speaking habits to match someone else’s when we’re really engaged in the conversation.
Proof that imitation is the highest form of flattery. Or attraction it seems.
