There’s nothing better than a good film is there? No matter what’s happening in your life, watching a movie can take you away from all the stress and hardship for around two hours. It’s a form of pure escapism and generally, there’s at least one attractive actor that you can drool over (sound).
Aside from helping you to forget about the trials and tribulations of your daily existence, films can also teach you about various aspects of life. Particularly they can teach you about relationships.
Don’t believe us? Here are a few lessons that we’ve learned about love through the medium of film…
Kissing in the rain: you will get soaked
The scene: Rain makes kisses uber-romantic
The lesson: Kissing in the rain is great in theory but in pratice your hair get wrecked, the two of you get absolutely soaked and you spend the rest of your week bedridding, knocking back mugs of Lemsip to counteract the horrible head cold you’ve developed.
The scene: Sex is always asthetically pleasing
The lesson: When you take off your clothes you will not be illuminated by the most flattering-light-ever. He will see your stretchmarks and that scar on your belly from when you got your appendix out. And likewise you will see his hairy back and notice that his willy bends slightly to the left.
The scene: No one has morning breath
The lesson: In the movies, happy, loved-up couples wake up and immediately start shifting the face off each other. In real life, you’re likely to dodge his advances (or vice versa) because let’s face it, wearing the face off each other before either of you has brushed your teeth is just not an enjoyable experience.
The scene: Someone WILL ruin your wedding
The lesson: When the priest says: ‘Speak now or forever hold your tongue!” no one is likely to stop the proceedings with an epic declaration of love for you. We know you sort of secretly hoped that it would happen, but unless you have a seriously dramatic ex who is still obsessed with you, this is unlikely to happen. Sad face.
Sex is never as pretty in real life as it is in the movies
The scene: You can drop everything to be with the one you love
The lesson: It would be fantastic if we could drop everything to run away with our sweetheart but alas, we have jobs and bills that need to be paid. Also, our parents would probably notify the guards if we just disappeared. This is completely unrealistic and if you want to drop everything to be with the one you love, it will require a tedious amount of planning and schedule-comparing on both of your parts in order for it to be a success.
The scene: Your ex will make an epic declaration of love at some point in time
The lesson: Well… this might actually happen (especially if your ex is a little, eh, ‘eclectic’) however most of the time any declarations of love from an ex-boyfriend are done in the pub with a slurred “I miss ya!” and not with a boombox outside your bedroom window ala John Cusak in Say Anything.
The scene: All romantic gestures are grand ones
The lesson: Not really. Sometimes romantic gestures are as simple as him making you a cup of tea in the evening. And to be honest? They’re just as great.
First dates are usually more awkward than awesome
The scene: All first dates are awesome
The lesson: First dates are usually awkward and downright terrifying. You have no idea what to say to him so instead you’ll blurt out something weird that will make him give you that ‘are-you-damaged?’ look and you’ll pretty much worry about everything you do until the date is over. Occasionally you can be lucky and actually have that mythical creature known as the awesome first date, but they are few and far between.
The scene: Airport security are incredibly lax if you’re in love
The lesson: If we tried to leg it through airport security in order to declare our love for the object of our affections who is currently boarding a plane, we would be arrested and detained faster than you can yell: “BUT I’M IN LOVE!!!”
The scene: If you become a hooker, you’ll be picked up by Richard Gere
The lesson: Sure we’d all do anything for a shopping spree on Rodeo Drive with an attractive business man although doing this might be a step too far…
The scene: If you ignore the love of your life for a year, he will build you a house like Noah in The Notebook
The lesson: Yeah… this just isn’t going to happen. EVER. (Unless he generally builds amazing houses when he’s heartbroken – you might want to look into that…)
