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16th Dec 2013

“I Can’t Reach It!” Fourteen Everyday Trials Short People Go Through That Tall People Will Never Understand

It's so tough being this small...

Sue Murphy

We know this is probably in the region of serious first world problems but tall people generally don’t seem to understand how difficult it is to be short. Here are eleven trials short people go through on a daily basis.

1. The Top Press.

Forget it, you will never get there. It looks nice from down here though. Now, where’s that chair that could possibly kill me?

2. The Top Shelf

The top shelf everywhere. That unknown land that you will never see. You will always need help, just admit it now.

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3. The “Under the Bed” Reach

You always need some sort of grabbing device for things that are far away, you will never get there.

4. The “No Heels” Rule

Wouldn’t you like to wear pumps out and about to special occasions? Afraid not! You might as well get used to wearing at least a kitten heel, otherwise people will never see you.

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5. The Bar Trample

Ever been in a packed bar where the bar people and everyone else are just stomping past you like you’re not there? That’s what it is like for small people ALL THE TIME!

6. The Endless Gigs We Will Never See

If you don’t get up to the front, you won’t see that gig.

7. The High Cinema Seat

There are certain cinemas you will actively have to avoid because if you go there, you will need a booster seat to see over the seat in front of you.

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8. The “It’s Never A Short Skirt” Skirt

Short skirts are always knee length, you will never find an actual short skirt.

9. The “Over The Shoulder”

Since you are so tiny, people are more inclined to pick you up and throw you around the place, kind of like a rag doll. Sure, you only love when someone throws you over their shoulder like a child.

10. High Stools = Mountains

High stool, you are my Everest.

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11. You Can Never Be Found

Has anyone seen the short one? No? Ok. let’s go.

12. Clothes NEVER Fit

Hi, can I just get this taken up? Yes, if you could take about ten inches off it, then they should fit on the leg.

13. The Entire Pool Is The Deep End

Not just the actual deep end.

14. The Waist View

Standing between two tall people is some kind of personal hell. Welcome to my waist.

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