Co-parenting can be one big headache
7,000 mums have taken part in a stress study that doesn’t shine the greatest light on their partners in parenting.
Moderated by Today, the study reported an average stress level of 8.5 out of 10 per mother – 46% of whom claimed men cause them more of a headache than their children.
Registered counsellor Georgina Sturmer, who specialises in relationship confidence, went on to tell the publication: “When it comes to a husband and wife, or any model of co-parenting, the dynamic can feel like shifting sands. Like an imbalanced power struggle. Maybe we oscillate between ‘good cop’ and ‘bad cop’. Perhaps we can’t agree on how to parent.
“Maybe there’s simmering anger or resentment about pulling our weight in household tasks. Or in decisions around money, home life, socialising and much more,” she continued, while highlighting the existence of “many potential triggers for disagreement”.
“This sometimes means that instead of finding our co-parent supportive, we can actually feel as if they are simply adding an extra weight to our lives.”
The study also revealed mums massively stress about not having enough time to get everything done, with three-quarters of its participants suggesting they’re responsible for the majority of the parenting and household duties.
Lucy, who has two kids, concurred by saying: “I work from home and my husband works between home and an office. He always finishes before me and appears to work fewer hours. It never ceases to amaze me how he can walk in and ignore washing to be put away, a dishwasher that needs loading, recycling to put out, and every other job.
“I shouldn’t have to spell it out for him, he’s a grown man. Instead, I simmer with rage most days when I put down my laptop one minute and go straight to the kitchen the next, without pausing for breath before doing all the tasks he could easily have done.”
Meanwhile, three-kid parent Kate admitted she was “relieved” when her husband accepted a job that took him away from home a lot of the time.
‘Honestly, life was just much easier without him in the house,” she shared.
“I tried engaging him with household tasks – every job he left for me to do that he could’ve easily done himself, I left a sticky note on saying ‘up yours Kate.’ Because that’s what leaving those jobs for me meant – that he didn’t care enough about me or respect me enough to do them.”
