Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Attraction is always going to be subjective but according to relationship expert Shelly Bullard the most attractive personality trait is a person who is confident in themselves.
Bullard argues that this differs from confidence, which can be faked, and comes from accepting yourself for both your pros and cons.
Writing for mindbodygreen, Bullard describes self- acceptance as knowing the value of being yourself without being fake or arrogant:
“Here’s something to remember about this: the real you is not narcissistic. It’s not inflated or entitled to get other people’s attention. Arrogance is definitely not hot.
“What’s attractive is radical self-acceptance. It’s the humble energy of telling the world I know who I am and I’m not afraid to own it. This takes courage; it’s something we all admire in others.”
Being yourself might sound easy, but Bullard says that failing to be authentic, always bending to others wishes and changing your personality to suit others can lead to communication problems and feelings of resentment down the line.
So what are the questions you need to answer, to stay in tune with yourself?
The top three elements of someone who is self-accepting is highlighted as:
- When you’re in your element and having fun
- When you’re fully owning who you are
- When you feel whole, self-sustaining, and shining for the world to see
While being in a loving relationship has its own rewards, Bullard believes equal emphasis should be placed on developing and maintaining your own happiness as well as a growing bond.
Bullard states:
“This effort to seek and find attraction from someone else is —ironically — how we become less and less attractive to others.”
As the age old saying goes, if you don’t love yourself, nobody else will.
