When it comes to sexual conditions, myths are often tangled with the truth, which in turn can prevent people from seeking professional, medical help.
Ladies, you’ll be pleased to know that in a new feature piece we’ll be asking the sex experts for advice.
Her.ie chats to Channel 4’s Embarrassing Bodies star, Dr. Christian Jessen, and Dublin based psychotherapist, Trish Murphy, on the subject of Premature Ejaculation.
First up, let’s break down the barriers and answer a few simple questions.
What is premature ejaculation (PE)?
Premature Ejaculation is the most common sexual dysfunction in men, with a massive 20% of Irish males suffering from the condition. Despite the fact that 1-in-5 men can be affected by PE, only 9% of these men will talk to their doctor about it.
What causes premature ejaculation?
The exact cause of PE is unknown, a number of different physical and psychological factors may be involved depending on the person.
The effects of premature ejaculation.
Premature ejaculation can have a significant impact on a man’s life and relationships.
Dr. Christian Jessen from BAFTA award winning Channel 4 programme ‘Embarrassing Bodies’.
Embarrassing Bodies’ Dr. Christian Jessen, sat down to explain the detrimental affects, ignoring the condition this can have on mental health and relationships.
“Men are expected to perform a certain way, that way isn’t always a very realistic image, and it builds this vicious cycle. Not every single time you have sex goes perfectly. Men are very affected by one back performance, and that can just turn into this very hard to breakout of cycle of anxiety.
“Some men have had it all their lives, and many ejaculate within one minute of penetrative sex, and if they’re not in a relationship they avoid relationships, and become very socially isolated, they become anxious or depressed.
“If it occurs when they are in a relationship, relationships can break down. The female partner tends to question, ‘what’s wrong with me’, ‘what’s going on’, it can cause huge problems.”
Dr. Jessen explained that although the problem can happen to men of any age, the condition does tend to improve as they get older.
“Programmes like ‘Embarrassing Bodies’ has made it easier for people to come forward and talk about these things. Social media and the Internet has given people amazing access to information, and to other people with the same condition.
“People find comfort knowing that there is help and take solace from talking to people.”
Putting his “neck on the line”, Dr. Jessen states that “doing nothing” about the situation won’t lead to more physical health implications, like erectile dyfunction would, but does need to be treated.
“Ignoring it in some respects doesn’t matter too much, because there are no health implications doing, but still it can be very damaging to self esteem, he can cause depression, anxiety, breakdown in relationships, and should absolutely still be treated.
The average time for a male to reach climax is anything from 4-8 minutes, something that Jessen says men are “relieved” by.
“The average time for a man to ejaculate is 7 minutes, men are not shocked by this, they’re relieved.
“Under two minutes is considered premature, but to be honest it’s what is considered premature for that couple. If the couple are not happy, you really need to take that into account, and not some arbitrary figures.”
As you have probably already guessed ladies, very often it is the woman that will make the first point of contact. Psychotherapist and couples counsellor, Trish Murphy, explained the stages most couples face when a partner suffers with PE.
“Generally speaking, men hide their sexually difficulties, because it so hurtful. So women often go through a huge time where they feel they’re not attractive enough, they’re not doing something right, there’s something wrong with them.
“Then they can feel quite angry, because when they discover that actually he’s had an issue and they’ve gone through all of this and wasted all of this time, when he could’ve done something about it.”
Most men with a sexual difficulty with have a lot of negative sexual experience, with younger men rushing into seeing the problem.
“Relief is the biggest thing I experience when men come to talk about things. A huge relief at being able to talk about it, normalise it, and there being an answer to it.”
Many couples have already self-diagnosed the issue before making an appointment “sometimes they’re on the right track,” sometimes a couples fear levels is much higher that
“One of the biggest things I experience is young men with sexual difficulties is they go online and they get all the wrong information. We need to be able to provide reliable, safe, solid information where people can know that is backed up with evidence and it’s backed with professionalism.
“It’s crucial, particularly with young people, because they point of call with always be the internet.”
Trish encourages women to speak to their partners and not fall under the illusion that, “give it enough time and it’ll all be okay.”
“Suddenly you’ll find yourself 10 years later and it’s still not okay. If there is an issue, have the guts to talk about it, don’t go into protecting the other person for fear of causing upset.”
“Yes, you may have to push them in the door somewhere but it’s for their benefit, it’s because you love them,” she added.
Find out more information on Premature Ejaculation from Takecontrol.ie, and the interesting myths or truths test here.
