Think helping your fella out with the dishes after you’ve had a bad day is a good way to make you feel better? Think again, because according to some research it could actually damage your relationship.
Normally helping out around the house keeps the peace and contributes to your domestic bliss. However, research from the University of Arizona has found that doing these things when you’re stressed out or have just had a particularly bad day can actually lead to resentment, a lack of love and, worringly, a lack of commitment.
In order to come to these conclusions, researchers studied married and unmarried couples who were in long-term relationships.
The couples were asked to rank how committed they felt to their partner and how satisfied they were with their relationship.
The research found that on days when people were feeling calm and content, helping their partner around the house actually made them feel happier and more connected to their other half. However, on days when they were stressed out, helping their partner seemed irritating, annoying and was more likely to cause a larger bust-up.
“You need to be mindful of the resources that you have to do those sacrifices at the end of the day,” said Casey Totenhagen, the leade researcher of the study.
“Maybe trying to pile on more sacrifices at the end of a really stressful day isn’t the best time,” she added.
“If you need me, I’ll be on the sofa watching the soaps…”
The study also found that when one partner went out of their way to do nice things for their other half on a particularly stressful day, their other half didn’t even notice.
“It’s really important that couples work on coping with those daily stressors as they occur, becuase they have a chance to build up,” said Ms Totenhagen.
“Even if I had stressful experiences that didn’t involve my partner, it can still impact my partner, so it might be beneficial for us to work on those together,” she added.
So there you have it. The next time he asks you to give him a hand with the dishes after you’ve had a long day tell him you won’t for the sake of your relationship!
