The Banking Inquiry, am I right?
I’ve got some banking inquiries of my own that I’d like to address, some of which I believe humanity as a whole deserves to hear some answers to.
Bank Holidays
Why are banks the only institutions that get holidays named after them? I want to see Chemist Holidays, Supermarket Holidays and AWear Holidays.
Pen Distrust
Banks need to stop riding us so hard with their pen distrust. It’s a little excessive having them chained to the desk. We are trusting people, we are trusting you with our money so please trust us with your puny pens.
Multiple Queue Formation
An important inquiry is why banks don’t have a more forceful queuing system in place. Queue skippers are rampant and don’t get me started on people taking twenty minutes to fill in a cheque. FAIL TO PREPARE….
Clerk Judgement
Bank clerks could be a little less judgemental when you make a withdrawal from your childhood savings account every so often. I need braces, Linda. Ching ching, bitta cash, dyaknowwhatImean?
Counting Money
Why do they make you count your money for them? “Hello I would like to lodge €50 please”, results in them eyeballing you as you place one single €50 note on the counter. Don’t humiliate me by holding it up to the light, I am an honest being.
Opening Hours
Super convenient that banks open the exact same hours that you work, but also close during your lunch hour and on weekends. It’s as if they’ve done this on purpose. Thanks banks, sound.
Toys
There’s usually a little area for children to play in the bank, a tiny table with little abacuses etc. Can there be a similar setup for us adults too? Bit of colouring, few scratch cards, free sucky sweets. Guaranteed to boost morale and increase levels of patience.
Tyra
What is your life, Tyra? What are you going to do now that America’s Next Top Model has ended? Do you still smize? Is your struggle still more real than everyone else’s?
