
Life


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Published 15:34 9 Feb 2017 GMT

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2. You have to wear outdated hand-me-downs
Remember those dungarees that your older brother puked on after eating 7,315 fizzy cola bottles at Halloween? Well, they're as good as new now.
Money doesn't grow on trees, you know?
3. Your older siblings keep telling you that you were adopted
"Your real name is Jane. Mam and Dad took pity on you, they deserve a medal."
4. "If you go to the shop for me, I'll time you."
You bust your arse to make it up and back inside ten minutes (your personal best), only to find that your older sibling mysteriously 'forgot' to set the timer.
There was never a timer. And they wouldn't even let you keep the change.
5. You will never, ever have possession of the remote control
You will be in your early twenties and living away from home for the first time before you discover what this magic, channel-flicking piece of technology does.
6. You get the blame for the irresponsible actions of your siblings
One of our colleagues tells the story of how his sister cleaned their dad's taxi with a bunch of rocks and promptly blamed their younger brother, who still hadn't perfected the art of speech at the time.
Great to have the perfect scapegoat within arm's reach.
7. The food is stolen from your plate
Chips, chicken nuggets and sausages are frequently yoinked, and there's absolutely nothing that can be done about it.
8. "I bet you can't do that inside a minute"
Whether it's the making of a bed, the clearing of a table or the hoovering of a carpet, older siblings know that adding a competitive element will make the youngest, and most gullible, member of the family do anything they want.
Life just isn't fair.

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