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26th Mar 2013

Creeping On Pictures & Stalker Folders: 10 Signs You’re Obsessed With A Male Celebrity

Have you ever wondered if your obsession with a certain male celeb is normal? Wonder no more!

Hello, our name is and we have a confession to make. We’re all obsessed with certain male celebrities.

From the Gosling to the Fassbender, there are a few famous men out there that would probably smack a restraining order on us if they ever met us in real life (we’re morto for ourselves, honestly).

If you can relate to the above, then chances are you too have spent some time on the crazy rollercoaster that is celebrity obsession. When the object of your affections appears on the telly or announces that he has a new album coming out your day is fantastic. When the object of your affections cancels a tour or starts dating Eva Mendes, your spirits deflate. Sigh.

Have you ever wondered if your obsession with a certain celeb is normal? Here are the 10 signs that you’re harbouring some seriously obsessive tendencies about a member of the A-list and that you probably should seek some kind of medical help…


Sorry… we got lost in his eyes…

1. The mere mention of their name gets your attention: It doesn’t matter if your mother is talking about Mr Ryan who lives down the road, you hear the name ‘Ryan’ and you’re instantly demanding to know anything that she might have heard about the Gosling.

2. You’re a little too emotionally involved: You had tears streaming down your face when Angelina did that crazy fight scene with Brad in Mr & Mrs Smith because you couldn’t STAND the thoughts of Brad getting hurt. Likewise you bawled when Leo died in Titantic (there was enough room on that door Leo! God damn it!)

3. You’ve done the crazy doodle in your notebook: You know the one we’re talking about. The one where you write your first name and his last name. Don’t look at us like that, we know you’re guilty!

4. Topless pictures of your obsession get you inappropriately excited: Hey, look, there’s Channing Tatum just doing a bit of routine exercise. It’s completely harmless but we’re still going to sit here and drool like absolute creeps.

Chris Hemsworth gives us a bit of eye candy

5. You have a stalker folder on your computer: This is a little folder that’s hidden away in the depths of your hard drive that contains nothing except pictures of Michael Fassbender/Chris Hemsworth/another celeb of your choosing.

6. Your friends are starting to hate you: Mainly because all you ever do is talk about the object of your obsession. Your friends now know his middle name, his favourite colour, when his birthday is and what his mother’s maiden name is.

7. You’re on a first name basis: It doesn’t matter that you’ve never actually met them in the flesh, you still refer to them like they’re your other half. Example: “Oh there’s my boyfriend, Ryan Gosling!” “I love that bit in that film when Michael says this…” “Well R-Patz likes it, so it must be good…”

It’s totally normal to shift a poster of them, isn’t it? We’re just asking…

8. You kiss their picture: Hey, lobbing the gob at a poster of Tom Hardy is almost the same as lobbing the gob at the actual Tom Hardy, right? RIGHT?

9. You start becoming them: You buy yourself a pair of glasses that you don’t need just because your celeb man crush wears them. Likewise a beanie hat. And sweater that is ten times too big for you. And karma bead bracelets because you saw him wear them once.

10. You have at least one restraining order on your record: One time you saw your future husband on the street and you got SO excited that all reason left your brain and you went over, absolutely plagued him and attempted to follow him home. You now have a mark on your permanent record. But it was totes worth it.