What a child’s nativity play role says about them, according to a teacher

Did you mum ever go into your primary school and wreck the teachers' heads?

That might be why you played the donkey in the nativity play at Christmas. An anonymous primary school teacher has come forward with their reasons for why children get certain roles in class productions and they make for fascinating reading. Obviously, it's just one teacher's opinion and should be taken with a pinch of salt so read into this as you choose. Rob Christmas (a fake name, we're assuming) claims that the role of Mary is cast based largely on the child's ability to sit still, or their "plumpness and willingness to stay in a chair for 30 (long) minutes," as Rob described it to the Sun. Joseph is apparently also chosen based on how still he'll be on stage. As for the angel? "Your child is cute, sensible enough to stand on a bench, but also isn't bright enough to have a speaking part," says Rob. Charming. The only criteria for being one of the three wise men is that the child would remember to pick up their present as they make their way onto the stage, while to be a shepherd you should be sensible enough to carry a stick but not hit anyone with it, he claims. The louder, more boisterous kids tend to pay the inn keeper, while choosing someone to play the narrator is often an attempt to bring a quieter child out of their shell. Finally, the donkey is the "perfect chance to get back at whoever has the pushiest parent," Rob says. Basically just another thing you can blame on your mum, then.