Capture Your Own Future King – Mairead Farrell on The Rules

It’s rare enough that I read a book that makes me laugh out loud… but seeing as I just did, I'll have to tell you all about it. 

Most of you will have read, or at least heard of, “The Rules”, a book written in 1995 by Elle Fein and Sherrie Schneider.

It was New York Times bestseller… Of course it was.

It promised to help you get Mr. Right and, best of all - keep him, close the deal, and get that ring on your finger! But since 1995 things have moved on a bit. Now everyone has a mobile phone and there are texts. Sure, we even have a "delivered" or "read" facility on the phones. Then there’s Facebook, FaceTime, Skype, emails, Twitter. So it’s a bit trickier to “play hard to get”. 

Not so, it would seem. You see Elle and Sherrie have updated the book for the ladies of today, and they insist that the same principles apply.

If you have brown hair or mousy hair you need to make it blonde – men like long blonde hair (I’m screwed so!).

Don't wear small diamond earrings – it says you're too suburban and settled. Get yourself some big hoopy earrings. Men love these, they scream sexy! (I’m from Finglas, so to me they scream scary chick). 

Never ever wear flat shoes around a man you are attracted to. (Again I’m fecked, at last count I’d more flats than heels). Men just love women in heels, and the higher the better. (I don’t think small men would agree). 

In reality us ladies can fall in love with any type of man, we generally don't have a type. We could go for a rideylicious model, or fall in love with a guy who may not be blessed in the looks department but is hilariously funny or smart. We actually fall in love with a personality. 

But The New Rules would have you believe that men just go for looks - that’s it, looks. (I personally don’t believe this).

So the Rules for texting are; if you are over 30 you must wait four hours to reply to a text he has sent you and NEVER EVER reply to anything he sends after midnight… Four hours? Seriously?

If you are under 30, wait at least one hour before replying. Always keep your texts short – no E-books girls.

Example:

Him: Hey nice seeing you last night, that place is great . What are you up to today? 

(Wait for an age to reply) 

Her:  Yes it’s a great bar, I’m really busy with work today.

So you’ve simply answered his questions. You end all text conversations and phone calls first too. You get out before he does, as this makes him want you more (I ruined my eye make-up laughing). 

A quick glace at their site and you'll see the official engagement picture of William and Kate. “What is it about this woman that captured a future King’s heart? Millions of women understood – Kate Middleton is a rules girl”. 

A ha ha ha ha ha...