Early morning commutes are a dread, and don’t even get us started on those late evening treks home. You’re absolutely exhausted, the dark circles have grown under your eyes and you are fighting off the sleep. And to make matters worse that babe you keep seeing and having that awkward eye meet (he undresses you with a look as you reenact an eyelash fluttering scene from Bambi) every morning with, has just spotted you, and you’re looking less than your best. Sigh.
The commute can be the most trying time of the day. Forget the crazy Boss, the bitchy co-workers, or partner who has pissed you off, nothing will annoy you more than Bus W*nk*rs… We’ve come across a few of those in our time.
Here are some of the most awkward, annoying, and just plain weird bus moments…
Seat Selection
This is a crucial part to a commuter’s day. Get it wrong and you spend your entire journey squashed up against the window, participating in awkward chat. Or even worse, beside the person who thinks having headphones on automatically excludes them from real life, and that absolutely no one can hear that you are listening to Miley Cyrus. We can, and we are all judging you.
That over enthusiastic morning person, with a crap taste in music…
Elbows Magee
There’s a line there for a reason, ok it maybe invisible to some, but it’s still there… So please hitting our breasts with bawky elbows. Cheers.
There is a definite line, that does not need to be crossed…
Morning People and Children
These folk are arguably the worst… Children and morning people who are always over enthusiastic, lovers-of-life and often way too chirpy for us to handle.
Don’t get us wrong, children are lovely… when they’re sleeping.
Safety First
They mean well, but they’re a pain in the arse if you’re honest. Hoking at your side (sometimes crossing over that line to your side) fussing until they’re fully buckled.
Do the huckle buck…
Overheard On The Bus
This can go either two ways… Provide you with free entertainment or make you want to cut your own ears off.
The person who continues to converse on the phone (and the entire bus) is an eejit. They can’t help it, they don’t realise that absolutely nobody cares what they are having for dinner, going at the weekend or what state their relationship is in. (Relationship convos are entertainment you couldn’t put a price on)
We can hear you and we don’t care how many women you had at the weekend…
So folks, try to make sure you’re not a bus w*nk*r next time you find yourself traveling on one.
