Last week Granny Mary gave us her two cents about celebrity red carpet disasters. I’m still working for my room and board by helping out in the brewery, and I’m starting to understand the appeal of life on the small island of Leannclann. I went for a night out in Leannclann’s famous nightclub Chancers and thanks to the local matchmaker, received three marriage proposals – not too shabby.
Granny Mary and I seem to have made a great connection, I’m almost certain she thinks of me as one of the family now. So I decided to ask her for some relationship advice for these famous celebrities. Hopefully it will also help me to choose which proposal to accept as well:
Nicole Sherzinger and Lewis Hamilton
“Are you still here?”
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth
“I used to know a Miley. Awful fella, did the dirty on his missus with some auld bag called Fidelma”
Kris Jenner and Bruce Jenner
“I’ve seen more life in the eyes of a mounted goose”
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson
“I’ve been to wakes that were less gloomy than these two”
Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas
“Are they at Grab a Granny?”
Well, I’m no clearer on which proposal I should accept, if any, but I’m bonding with Granny Mary. I’ve just been told that my ferry will be here before the 31st, so as a parting gift she has offered to give me her guide to securing a kiss on New Year’s Eve. I’ll be sure to transcribe it for you lovely readers. Best run now though, Fancy Frank (Granny Mary’s dishy grandson) is taking me to the cinema to see Gone with the Wind – it just arrived here.
To meet the rest of this dysfunctional, yet fully-functioning, Irish brewing family make sure to check out, www.mcgargles.com.
