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Food

20th Dec 2016

Woman asks for advice after guests refuse to chip in for Christmas dinner

Do you think it was right for her to ask for money?

Megan Roantree

Do you think it was right for her to ask for money?

A woman has sparked debate online after asking whether it’s appropriate to ask guests to chip in for Christmas dinner.

The woman took to discussion forum Mumsnet to ask if she was overacting.

She explains that she recently moved to the same town as the rest of their family, which has put her in the position of being able to host Christmas dinner.

”[The] Problem being it has been a difficult year financially for us and whilst we don’t mind  doing the bulk of everything, we asked if everyone would mind contributing just a few quid (£5!) towards buying the huge joint of beef that everyone wants. ” She said.

She adds that her mother has ‘thrown a huge paddy at this, saying she is a VIP and after all she has done for us she shouldn’t have to do tribute towards her own dinner.”

”Mum has just had a sizeable inheritance and is in a better position than any of us to contribute.”

The post finishes with the woman asking if she is being unreasonable or whether those refusing to pay should just eat elsewhere.

Most comments below the post feel that the couple are being unreasonable and that they should not offer to host if they cannot afford it.

”It’s nice for people to offer to contribute either some money or dessert or wine but you’re effectively charging them to come for dinner.” One person said.

”You can’t host and ask people to pay. If you can’t afford beef, do something that you can afford.” Another added.
”The idea of trying to force people to chip in for Christmas dinner makes me cringe.’ Why did you agree/offer to host if you couldn’t afford it?”  Another added.

One person simply said: ”you are not a restaurant.”

Some people said it depends on how it has been done other years.

”Well I suppose it depends on what you’ve done in previous years. I’d be exceedingly unimpressed if I’d hosted and paid for in previous years and was asked to chip in.”

”The only reason her behaviour would be a bit acceptable is if she has hosted every other year and no one has ever helped out.”

Others agreed that the woman’s mother is overreacting but that there are other ways to help out.

“I would definitely expect people to bring things with them – a cake, a bottle of wine,” one user wrote. “Most families would be grateful that someone is hosting and offer to chip in. Asking is a bit rude, but your mother’s reaction is way over the top.”

There is no denying that Christmas is an expensive time of year, but perhaps the best option here would be to ask family members to each bring side dishes. For example, one person brings the Brussels sprouts, another makes the salad and cranberry sauce and the other makes roast potatoes. The cost of the side dishes would probably be the same as the money she’s looking for, but it’s a more subtle way to get financial help, without anyone feeling as though they are paying for the dinner.
What do you think?

Topics:

Christmas