We’re all too needy and dependent here at the Her desk to parent just yet but we’ve heard from our pals over at HerFamily that raising sprogs is no easy feat.
The concept seems quite alien to us so this woman’s brutally honest post abut life after children has revealed some truths that we never before imagined.
Mel Watts blogs as The Modern Mumma and writes all the nitty gritty unsaid things about parenting. One of those things is the stress it has placed on her relationship.
Taking to Facebook yesterday Mel opened up.
“If someone told me years ago that my relationship would one day change, I would have laughed and said no way,” she writes.
“I write this from a very raw part of my heart. The other night I lay there crying for unknown reasons [okay, maybe not unknown – the utero was having it’s monthly party] as I tried to go to sleep.”
She continues to describe how the relationship between her and her partner has completely changed.
“The late nights are now laying there silently with our backs to each other hoping the other one will get up for the crying baby,” she writes.
Mel admits that the text messages that used to be full of adoration are replaced by frantic messages requesting pads, ice creams, and dinners.
And, most poignantly she admits that children are really damn hard work.
“Children are hard work. They do put a damper on things. Some people may be able to keep their shit together but some people, like us, we find it hard to balance” she writes.
“The children have become the number one priority and at some point, we need to learn to put our relationship towards the top of that priority list. I think in time it will become that way again. You have to make it past these difficult times to get there. It’s not that it’s even difficult, it’s just different. And sometimes different is really hard.”
But thankfully, though her relationship has changed drastically, Mel writes that it’s not all doom and gloom.
“I think this moment in our lives is where we need to be right now. I am still very very much in love with my husband. It’s just a different kind of relationship now. It’s commitment. It’s contentment. It’s frustrating. It’s repetitive. It’s another chapter in our life” writes Mel.
“Nothing is going to be easy forever. Nothing is going to stay the same. And thats okay. Life is all about the change. It’s about becoming together and staying together during the good, the ugly and the children” she says.
Finally, Mel offers some advice for anyone else who might be struggling.
“Once you stop comparing yourselves to your old selves it becomes easier,” she says.
“Once you talk to each other about it, you understand you’re both feeling the same way. Of course, it’s worrying and of course its scary. No one likes change, and no one expects change. But just like everything else in life – relationships change.”
Read the post in full below.
