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Life

15th Mar 2016

5 Stunning People That Also Deserve A Sainthood

Ciara Knight

Mother Teresa is going to be made a saint.

I’m absolutely delighted for her, no better woman. While we knew she was going to be made a saint after her second miracle was recognised (although some were ignored), a date has officially been confirmed for 4th September.

Not to detract from MT’s achievements, but there’s a few other people that I’d like to see canonized, in this lifetime or beyond…

1. A Morbeg

Bolzano, Italy - July 10, 2011: The Mosaic of Saint Francis on the exterior wall of Franciscan Order (built in 13th century) in the Franziskanergasse. Created in 1904 by the workshop Pfefferle in Zirl (Austria) after a drawing from the same year by Pater Caius de Andrea, a priest of the Franciscan Order in Bolzano.

The green Morbeg is my personal favourite. Her name is Molly and she was and will forever be a fashion icon. I would like to see her canonized as a saint for her outstanding contributions to the world of fashion. To have the presence of mind in 1996 to pair cow print floppy ears with a blue waistcoat is both admirable and revolutionary. She was ahead of her time and needs to be brought back into the spotlight once more. Please, put your hands together for Saint Morbeg.

2. Michael D. Higgins

Icon of St. Maria Magdalena - Fresco in the church of the Rila Monastery, Bulgaria

This adorable man needs to be canonized immediately for his contributions to the world of happiness. It is a known fact that if you are feeling a bit sad, Googling a picture of our tiny President will result in guaranteed elation. He’s also done a pretty decent job of being the President of Ireland, which probably shouldn’t be overlooked as well, legally. His two miracles are comprised of being consistently adorable and having the patience of a saint in the ATM queue that time.

3. Saint William (Billy) Roll

A stained glass window in the chapel on the Farne Islands, UK, depicting Saint Cuthbert.

William Baguette, (or Billy Roll to you and I), is the Leonardo DiCaprio of Sainthoods. He’s been waiting to achieve an award of the highest honour for years and surely to God now is the time for it to happen. Billy Roll has brought delight into our lives for long enough. His outstanding contribution to gourmet foods is a miracle in itself, along with the fact that they’ve managed to put an actual face on a slice of ham(?).

4. All Saints

Holy monasteries in Greece, fresco of saints and holy men

I am sick of All Saints getting away with their blatantly misleading title of all being saints. Bullshit. They’re popstars and it’s high time we wised up to their fibs. It doesn’t seem like they’re going to change their name any time soon, so the only feasible alternative is to cannonize all four of them. Their contribution to music and fashion is truly outstanding and it is a God-given miracle that they are still producing absolute bangers in this day and age.

5. Saint West

Picture of an Othodox fresco. Religion theme.

The child is barely on this Earth a wet week and already I’m fascinated. He’s got a lot to live up to with a name like Saint, so let’s pile on the pressure and cannonize him before his first birthday. There are only two known photographs of the child on the internet so at least we’d get to see a few more in the process. He seems cute.