Earlier today we shared the news that the J1 Visa, summer passport to American fun for thousands of Irish students every year, may soon be a thing of the past.
It got us feeling all nostalgic about those good old days in New York, Boston, San Diego and San Fran… and sad for those poor souls who may never get to experience these twelve things during a magical summer in the US.
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1) Testing your body’s ability to go without sleep. You thought RAG week was bad? Welcome to three months of RAG week, baby. Go hard or go home.
2) Completely identifying with the lyrics of this song. It’s, like, SO true.
3) Accepting the worst job you’ve ever had in your life. Dressing up as a bear outside a Mexican restaurant for three months? No problem. NO problem. Side note: prohibited jobs in the J1 programme include those in the ‘adult entertainment’ industry. And now you know…
4) Three months of sunburn. After a week in Ibiza at least you got the Aloe Vera lotion out and recovered, albeit slowly. This time out, miss a day on the beach? Fat chance.
5) Receiving care packages full of Cadburys chocolate and Barry’s Tea. After one week. One… week. The twelve eejits you were sharing a room with clearly didn’t prepare properly, and now there are no teabags left and everyone’s paying the price.
6) Mammy dinners, what mammy dinner? On return from a J1 is the only time in your life that a mammy dinner suddenly looks rather… well, small. Ideally, it needs to be twice that size, but could you get half of it wrapped to go, please?
7) You finally understand what a Twinkie is. You don’t get the big deal. You’ve been hearing about the damn things ever since Saved By The Bell, now you finally get to try one. Although… it’s hard to see what the big fuss is all about.
8) You finally try American pizza. You get the big deal. Dominos, Pizza Hut and Apache are all dead to you for at least a year after.
9) Your accent is SO cute. Granted, the Irish accent goes down a storm in plenty places across the globe, but you will never be rewarded for speaking in any other country in the world the same way you are in America. They adore you. Lap it up.
10) Outlet shopping. For at least six months after returning to the Emerald Isle you refuse to purchase anything unless said item had at least three discount stickers hanging off it, and you had a coupon for an additional 10% off at the till.
11) Travelling thousands of miles, only to get the shift from someone in your college class. And someone else from the same class the next night. On your return, people will ask you about American men. You’ll say they’re awful… but how the hell would you know, you didn’t meet any.
12) Parents assuming you’re dead, on average once every three days. WOULD IT KILL YOU TO PICK UP THE PHONE, CHILD?! Once it’s confirmed you’re alive, it’s simultaneously confirmed that you’re the most inconsiderate child ever. And that’s almost worse. Ah Jaysus, would you ever just come home out of it?
